Page 51 of All Your Firsts Without Me

Lucky sticks her head out the window of the car, sniffing, sniffing, sniffing the air. Her tail is wagging like crazy. She’s so happy, which makes me happy.

After I get her leash hooked to her collar, we walk through the grass to David’s grave. I stand there a moment, feeling shy for some reason. “Hey,” I whisper. “It’s me.”

I sit down, releasing some of the leash so Lucky can sniff around. “I’m sorry I haven’t come to visit you in a long time. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to leave.” I giggle. “I guess there’s rules to wives sleeping here so…” I stare off at the horizon.

“Anyhow, I brought a new friend with me. Her name is Lucky. She’ll get hungry and demand we leave, so I’m hoping that will help.” I laugh lightly, a tear running down my cheek.

Lucky senses my sadness and starts licking my face. “See what I mean. She’s such a good dog.” Lucky curls up in my lap, laying her head on my knee.

“I miss you, David. Sometimes it hurts so much I can feel my heart wilting. Lucky helps with that.” I scratch behind her ears until she yawns and closes her eyes.

“Giles has been coaching me in golf. I’m not particularly good at it but it’s fun. I see why you enjoyed it. Giles and I are becoming better friends. Teresa and I still do our Friday afternoon girl time and Kaden calls once a week. He’s graduating in two weeks. I’m sure he’s already told you, but he’s been dating someone. She sounds so sweet. I’ll get to meet her when I head down there for the ceremony.”

My fingers pick at the grass. Pluck. Pluck. Pluck.

“I don’t know if it’s okay to talk to you about him.”

Pluck. Pluck. Pluck.

“He has one leg you know. I don’t know if you knew that, but you probably did since you were the one who talked him through his accident.”

Pluck. Pluck. Pluck.

“Can you believe he thought I wouldn’t like him because of that? I guess he had a few women ghost him after finding out. Isn’t that terrible? People are so mean sometimes.”

Pluck. Pluck. Pluck.

“He’s nice. We laugh a lot.”

Pluck. Pluck. Pluck.

“And he wrote my favorite song. But you already knew that…”

Pluck. Pluck. Pluck.

“He went with me to the compound. You should have seen the messages people left for me on the walls. I asked Giles to get me a meeting with my Dad. I’m nervous about it.”

Pluck. Pluck. Pluck.

“Do you think I should ask Westin to go with me? I mean he got me through going to the compound.”

Lucky’s head pops up and she growls low, her fur standing on end. My eyes follow hers. It’s Cracker, my squirrel. “It’s okay, Lucky. It’s just Mr. Cracker, he won’t hurt you.”

Cracker pops a seed in his mouth and then scrambles up the side of the tree. I rush to my feet when I see what is attached to it. It’s a squirrel feeder. On the front is a plaque that says in Loving Memory of David Langston. Oh my god. Did Westin do this? He was the only one who knew about Cracker.

Lucky dances around my feet as I realize how incredibly lucky I am. I drop down in front of David’s stone and run my finger over his name. “Thank you for always looking out for me. You were the best thing to ever happen to me.” I press my forehead to the cool stone. “It’s been six months, so I need to get ready to go to the White Glass, just like I promised. I love you, forever and always.”

I pull the picture of Lucky and I out of my pocket and lean it against the stone. Taking a deep breath, I push myself off the ground. “Come on, girl. It’s time to go home.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Westin

The minute she steps through the door, my face turns her way. She’s like a burst of crisp air, rushing in. She has a bright yellow sundress on that makes her eyes glow more golden than I’ve ever seen. Her gaze finds mine, her lip curling up in a shy grin. She doesn’t come to me though. She sits at the other end of the bar. The bartender gives her a friendly smile as he slides an envelope towards her and a margarita.

She takes a sip and then slowly runs her finger along the seam, pulling out a letter. Her eyes scan the words before putting it back in the envelope and tucking it away in her purse. She finishes her drink, her eyes not leaving the bar.

What the fuck is going on?

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