Page 46 of All Your Firsts Without Me

“I… I don’t even know how to start it. He tried to show me everything I would need to know, but he never showed me this and now… and now it’s too late,” I wail.

“It’s not too late to learn,” Giles chides gently. “Here let me show you. No need for tears.” He wipes the wetness from my face with his hands, brushing it off on his jeans. He lifts the lid to the grill and shows me how to light the burners.

“Thank you,” I say on a hiccup, placing the steaks on the rack.

“It’s okay to ask for help, honey. You need to remember that.” He nudges me in the shoulder as he adjusts the flames to the correct temp.

“Why don’t we let Giles take over the grilling.” Bev wraps her arm around my shoulders and guides me back into the house. “What do you need help with?”

“Everything else is ready,” I tell her, hiding behind my hair, my cheeks pink over my meltdown.

I told them to come thirty minutes earlier than Westin. Good thinking on my part. My nerves are getting the best of me.

She runs her hands up and down my arms as if she’s warming me. “Relax, sweetheart, just be yourself.”

“Have you met Westin?” I ask.

Nodding, she pours us each a glass of wine. “Just once at the funeral.”

“It’s crazy, isn’t it?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” she says handing me a glass. “I think it might be the most romantic gesture I’ve ever heard.”

“But what if Westin doesn’t like me when he gets to know me. What if I don’t like him?”

She shrugs. “Then you walk away with a new friend. Do you at least see him as that much?”

“Yes,” I admit honestly. “But I come with a whole slew of issues that he doesn’t know about.”

“And I’m sure he does too. That’s part of any relationship. Romantic or otherwise. It’s a journey of discovery.” She walks us out to the couch. “And that never ends. We grow, we change, there is always something new to learn. I’m just now learning how much of a soft heart my husband has.”

I giggle, watching Giles through the window. “I think he’s finally starting to like me.”

Her eyebrows pull together. “He’s always liked you. What do you mean?”

“Oh, I don’t think he liked me very much in the beginning. When David and I announced our relationship, he seemed angry.”

“He was but not at you. He was mad at David. He was worried he was taking advantage of you.”

I start to defend David, but she holds up her hand.

“Giles thinks of you as the daughter he never had.”

I pull my head back. What?

“And I think any dad would have questioned what was going on between the two of you. Now don’t get me wrong, we both love David and I know he would never intentionally hurt you, but from the outside it was hard to understand. Giles punched David right in the nose the day he told us.”

“What?” I screech, my eyes about to pop out of my head. “David never said anything.”

“He wouldn’t have wanted you to worry. Once he explained, Giles settled down. But I don’t think he really understood until your book came out.”

“But I didn’t write about David’s and I’s relationship.”

“I know, but you wrote about many other things. Things no one should have to go through. It was then he saw what David had. He understood why David might have fallen in love with you, why he wanted to help guide you and love you in as many ways as he could. You deserved that.”

We both turn to look out the window when masculine laughter filters in from outside. “He’s here,” I whisper.

She gives me an encouraging smile. “Let’s take the food outside. Remember, just be yourself.”

---