Page 32 of All Your Firsts Without Me

“I… I didn’t want to make you sad.”

“Hell, I aint’ sad. I’m happy. You helped me remember something that had faded to the back of my mind.” He takes her hand in his. “All we own in this life are our memories.”

April sniffles, turning her head away from him.

“How long has it been, darlin?”

She swipes at her cheeks. “Four months, three days, thirteen hours, and six minutes,” she answers without missing a beat.

His thumb brushes over the top of her hand. Who knew Mr. Fredricks had a heart? Here I thought he was nothing but a jokester.

“I’d like to tell you it gets easier, and I guess it does. He’ll be with you everywhere. In everything you see, in all that you read.” He nudges the book, while still holding her hand. “But don’t let those memories overshadow the people and things that are still here.”

“How long for you?” she asks, hesitantly.

He laughs. “Well, honey, I’m not as good at the math as you but I’d say it’s been well over twenty years.”

She places her hand over her chest. The thought of so much time passing without the love of his life hurts her heart.

“It’s okay, sweetie. Life goes on. We have to keep going till the good Lord calls us home.” He gives her hand one more squeeze before he rolls towards the door. He pauses, not looking back. “We’ll see you next week?”

She lets out a long breath. “Yeah, I’ll see you next week, Mr. Fredricks.”

“You can call me Fred.”

“Fred Fredricks?” she asks, tipping her head.

“Where do you think I got my sense of humor from?” He laughs and continues out the door.

April watches him leave before turning her eyes to me. She smiles shyly.

I crouch down in front of her. “You did amazing. They loved you.” She blushes prettily, tucking a hair behind her ear.

“Would you like to go to lunch with me?” I ask out of the blue. Jesus, this isn’t how any of this is supposed to go. What am I doing?

“Yeah, sure, but I have Lucky.”

Standing, I wipe my palms down my jeans. “Oh, yeah, well, we could go to my place. I mean, if you’re comfortable with that. We could always go back to your house. Or we could get take-out.” I’m stumbling all over the place. You would think this is the first time I’ve asked a girl out.

She giggles. I drop my shoulders. I’m making this into a way bigger deal than it is.

“We can go to your house.”

My heart stops. The world stops. The fricking universe stops.

April is coming to my house.

“Yeah, great, good, I’ll… um, yeah, I’ll drive us there and then I can bring you back to get your car?”

She stands up, grabbing Lucky’s leash from me. “That sounds fine,” she says, beaming up at me.

The drive to my house is quiet as she watches the scenery pass by. Her window is down, whipping her golden hair around her face. Lucky has her chin on the window frame. Both seem to be enjoying themselves.

“I found this place last year. It’s a ways out but it’s quiet and I like that.”

She turns to me and I realize how much her color has come back since David’s death. The dark circles are receding under her eyes. She’s slowly returning to the world of the living.

“Nothing wrong with that. I like the quiet too. You wouldn’t think so with my past, but it’s true.”

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