Page 24 of All Your Firsts Without Me

“What was his name?”

“Cracker,” she laughs, shaking her head. “He probably wonders where I went.”

I can almost see the thoughts racing through her head. There’s more to this story.Please tell me. I want to know everything.

“I… I had a hard time leaving David. I kinda moved out to the cemetery for a bit. Cracker kept me company.”

My heart breaks right the fuck in half. Her gaze focuses on the cement wall across from Lucky’s kennel. She looks so lost. Hurt. Broken.

“I miss him too.” Her gaze snaps to me. I scratch my head, wondering if I should be telling her this. None of this was part of the plan. “I used to meet up with him at the White Glass.”

She nods, sliding closer to me so that our knees are almost touching. I’m not sure she’s aware just how close she has moved to me in her eagerness to talk about David.

“The Friday after…” I pause, making sure she is okay with this. Her eyes are wide, clear, and intently focused on me, so I continue. “I sat there waiting for him to roll in through the door. My mind knew it wasn’t going to happen, but my heart never got the memo.” I press a thumb and finger to the corner of my eyes, pushing the emotions down.

When I get myself in check, I glance at her. She blinks at me like an owl. One blink. Two blinks.

“At night, I lie in bed waiting for him to come in and hoist himself up on the mattress. It’s the same as you, my mind knows but my heart doesn’t care… it wants him. Yearns for him. It hurts so much I think I’ll die from the pain.”

A tear runs down her cheek and plops on the pup’s head. Lucky looks up at her and stands in her lap, pressing her nose to April’s cheek. More tears fall and the dog licks her face. April cries harder, hugging the three-legged dog to her.

A strong man might be able to sit by unaffected by the site before him, but evidently, I’m not a strong man, because wet, hot tears run down my cheeks, disappearing in my short beard. I wipe them away quickly but not before she notices.

She clutches the dog to her with one hand and reaches out to snag one of mine. We hold onto each other tightly for a long, long time. What a site the three of us must be.

Eventually, she releases my hand. Lucky decides to finally give me some attention. She hops off April’s lap and circles me, sniffing up and down the whole time. She allows me to give her a good scratch behind the ear and then climbs back on April’s lap. Lucky settles herself in the crook of her legs, closing her eyes.

“Do… I mean… I could… would… um… would you like me to help you get her settled at your house? We could stop by the pet store and…” God, this is a bad idea.

She studies the dog in her lap, chewing on her bottom lip. “Yeah, I mean… yeah. I hate to ask for help but…”

“It’s no problem. I used to have a dog when I was young. A golden retriever.”

She glances up. “Golden Retriever’s are beautiful. When I was little, my neighbors used to have one. I would sneak him treats when no one was looking.”

“Yeah, they are good dogs. Maybe that’s what I’ll get since Lucky here has already found her forever home.”

April smiles nervously. “You… you really think I can handle it?”

“I’m sure of it.” I smack my hands down on my knees, carefully raising myself off the cold, hard floor. April watches me. “Let’s go get those adoption papers signed.

She wakes Lucky by nudging her with her nose. The dog looks worried for a moment before realizing April isn’t letting her go. She sticks her face in the dog’s furry neck. “You’re coming home with me,” she tells her.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

April

David is still watching over me. I mean he guided me to Lucky and then his friend just happens to show up. It’s a good thing too because I don’t know the first thing about taking care of a dog.

Westin follows me to the pet store and then proceeds to carry Lucky for me as we walk the isles. I want her to have everything bright and shiny, just like David wanted for me. I know the folks at the Humane Society do their best. They are amazing, but it’s not the same as having your own home. A place you feel warm, safe, and loved.

I’m going to love Lucky so much. The lady said most people don’t want a special needs animal. I don’t look at Lucky as a dog with special needs. She needs the same things I need. Missing one leg doesn’t change anything.

Westin laughs as I fill the cart higher and higher. “I think Lucky is pretty darned lucky,” he says as he helps me load everything into the back of my car.

“Well, I know what it’s like to move into a new home. I want her to feel like she belongs.”

He nods as he closes the trunk. “So, should I follow you to your house?” he asks nervously.

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