Page 20 of All Your Firsts Without Me

He nods as I place my keys in his hand.

When I get in the driver seat of April’s car, my legs are immediately cramped. “Good grief, April. How short are your legs?”

She glances over, tears streaming down her face. “David, always used to say I had little alligator legs,” she hiccups before wailing even louder than before.

I run my hand down my face. I was only trying to lighten the mood. Jesus, I’m a dumb fuck sometimes.

Okay, we planned for this. I send David’s brother-in-law a text telling him to meet me at the house. He texts back right away letting me know he is on the way.

She cries silently in the seat next to me the entire way back to her house. I notice the back seat is full of stuff. Shit, has she been living out of her car at the damn cemetery?

“April, talk to me, honey.”

She sniffles, resting her head on the back of the seat. “It hurts too much. Everything hurts. Living hurts.”

When we pull up to the house and she spots Jeff, she covers her face, embarrassed.

“It’s going to be okay.”

She shakes her head back and forth. “Please don’t tell Kaden.”

“I only called Jeff.”

Jeff walks towards the car and opens her door. He crouches down beside her. “Hey, hon, what’s going on?”

“Why don’t we talk inside,” I tell him.

He nods, reaching in and helping her out.

Once inside, she tries to pull herself together, but the tears continue to stream down her face. “Can I get you both something to drink?” she asks, hurrying to the kitchen to busy herself.

Jeff stops her. “April, we’re fine. Sit down. I’ll get you some water.” He heads to the fridge.

She lowers herself onto the couch, curling up the minute she sinks in. I take the seat across from her. “Can I tell Jeff what happened?” I ask.

Her bottom lip slips between her teeth as she nods, then she quickly tucks her head between her knees.

Jeff sits down beside her, placing an arm along the back of the couch in a protective gesture. She refuses the water, so he sets it on the table.

I relay to him what I know.

He nods, listening calmly. Every now and then he glances at her, but she hasn’t moved. Her face is still tucked away safely, her tiny body shaking as she continues to sob.

“I’m going to go home now, April. You can call me anytime, okay?” She gives me a tiny wave but doesn’t look up. I know even that small gesture took monumental effort from her.

Jeff walks me out. “Teresa and I knew something was wrong. We’ve stopped by every day this week and she’s never here. I guess now we know where she’s been.”

“She asked me not to tell Kaden. I’m sure she doesn’t want to worry him or disrupt his studies.”

Jeff pinches the bridge of his nose. “Jesus, I know David had a plan but…”

I pat him on the back. “Time. She just needs time.”

He nods, takes a deep breath, and turns to head back inside.

Without David here the world feels empty. I can’t imagine what she must be going through. She depended on him for so much. As much as I hate to admit, I agree with Jeff… I don’t know if this plan of his is going to work. I don’t know if she’ll ever be ready to meet someone new. I raise my face to the stars twinkling against the inky sky. “Goddamn, I miss you, friend.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN

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