“Fuck you!” I yell at Raffe as Big Dan comes out from the shop.
“What the hell, Jess? What’s going on?” Dan asks, stunned that I cursed at poor Raffe.
“Nothing.” I turn and storm off.
I head home. Jimmy is ripping the trailer apart. “What are you looking for?” I ask him. Dumb to poke at the monster I know but I never said I was smart.
“A suitcase,” he answers angrily.
“I think Aunt Renee has one in her closet. You going somewhere?”
He stops and stares at me. “Fuck, no.”
I shrug my shoulders. “What do want for supper?”
He doesn’t answer and storms out of the trailer. I laugh and go into my aunt’s room taking all of her makeup, some of her clothes and then I head over to stay at Tom’s. I’m not staying at the trailer with no locked barrier between me and Jimmy. I have to protect what’s mine.
Of course, William spots me. “Jesse, Jess. Wait up will you?” William yells. I keep walking. “What’s wrong? Why won’t you talk to me?” he asks after he catches up to me.
“I’m busy,” I tell him with no emotion in my voice.
“Okay. Hey.” He steps in front of me, blocking my way. I try to go around him, but he holds me by the shoulders. “I know what you saw. We need to talk.”
I blink at him.
“Come on, Jess,” he pleads.
“There’s nothing to talk about. Now if you’ll excuse me I have things to do.” I try to shake myself out of his grip.
“I was going to tell you about Penny. It just happened. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he says. I see the honesty in his eyes.
But, he hurt my heart and guess what? It’s mine and I protect what’s mine.Sometimes you have to be mean, Jesse.
“Just because you put your lips on mine and your hand between my legs doesn’t mean you owe me anything. I don’t care who you’re banging.” He winces. It was a low blow. I know. He didn’t want to hurt me back then. Gabriel made him.
“Jess…” he lets his words trail off as he releases his grip on my shoulders.
My shoulder bumps into his as I brush past him. “It’s fine, William.” My heart breaks into a thousand pieces as I walk away from him, they fall all over the sidewalk. I don’t stop to pick them up. Who needs them anyway? They were the pieces I reserved for William. I don’t need them anymore.Don’t look back. Don’t look back.
When I get to Tom’s I shower and get dressed in my aunt’s black leather pants and black tank top. I brush my hair until it’s a shiny, blue-black temptation. Today, I take what’s mine. Trap county doesn’t belong to the Desert Devils and it sure as fuck doesn’t belong to the Rebel Skulls. It belongs to me. I’m one of a kind. One. The only one I can depend on.
There isn’t one thing that goes on in this town that I don’t know about. Well, I didn’t see the Penny and William thing coming but what did I expect? I knew William and I were never going to be a thing. Too much happened to us back when we first met. Secrets both of us will take to our grave. It’s okay. I’m glad he found someone. I hope he’s happy. One of us should get a happy ever after and between the two of us, he is the one who deserves it most.
It only takes me two days to sell all of the shit in the suitcase. I know what you’re thinking. I’m contributing to the shit show that is Trap County, but these people will get their drugs one way or another. Besides, I’m like Robin Hood, except I take from the users and give to the poor. Nobody recognized me with my skull makeup and the few who bothered to ask my name, I told them to call me Sugar. My grandmother used to tell me I was made of sugar and spice and everything nice, so it seemed appropriate.
Anyhow, I know who needs money in this town. I’ve quietly infiltrated myself into this place over the years. So, last night I dressed in my skull outfit and in true Robin Hood fashion delivered the cash to those in need. All except for the portion that I will re-invest into buying more product. Like I said these people will get their drugs one way or another and this way I can make sure they are getting quality product. This time around it was probably junk because the Devils are strictly out to put green in their pockets. But, I’ve met the right people and I’ve been assured I’ll be getting some grade A shit from here on out. I’m going to push the Desert Devils clear out of here. No one will buy from them again.
Monday morning rolls around and I head to the shop. Big Dan looks up from the counter when I walk in. He points to the stool across from him. “Want to talk?” he asks.
“What do you want to talk about?” I ask, snapping my gum between my teeth.
“What was going on the other day between you and Raffe?”
I mindlessly flip through his book of designs. He reaches over and closes it. “Look at me, Jess.”
I do with an exaggerated wide-eyed stare. He crosses his big arms across his chest and leans back in his chair, rubbing his hand through his beard with an expectant look on his face.
Sighing, I stare up at the ceiling. “Remember when he was asking you about Jimmy from the Desert Devils?”