Page 80 of Sugar and Skulls

“Jesse, no. This is your place. Someday you will have a family of your own. Besides, Katie loves living in a castle.”

“You’re right…about the castle part anyway. Katie does love it there.” I laugh lightly my mind drifting to Raffe and Dirk. I do want a family someday. How will that even work? For the first time I worry about our dynamic.

“What’s wrong? I lost you there for a minute.” My dad tips my chin, studying my face for answers.

I haven’t told my dad that my relationship with Raffe and Dirk goes beyond friendship. I know he likes to think of them as my uncles. What will he think? What will the world think?

“Jesse?” he asks again.

“Nothing, I’m just feeling a little melancholy I guess.”

He gives me a gently squeeze. My dad places the keys to the house in my hands.

We spend the morning going through old photo albums. I show him the swing that grandpa tied in the tree in the backyard for me. He insists I sit, and he pushes me. It’s nice to share this with him.

As I swing he tells me how my grandfather sent him letters each month. “I lived for those letters, Jess.”

“Why didn’t they ever tell me about you?”

“I murdered a man. They didn’t feel that was a quality they wanted in their granddaughter’s life. I don’t blame them. I’m sure if the roles had been reversed I would have done the same,” he answers thoughtfully.

We lock up and he takes me to lunch.

“This has been nice, dad. Thank you for everything,” I tell him buckling my seatbelt. My belly is so full I think I might need a nap.

He grabs something out of the back before getting in. He sets the present on the seat between as he slides in. “Now, I know this is a little late…but…”

He picks it up and sets it on my lap. “How can it be late? Today is my birthday you know.”

Tapping his finger over his tattoo he says, “I know, baby girl. You’ll see.”

I rip the paper off carefully so that I don’t rip any of it. It’s wrapped in black paper with skulls that have bright pink bows on their heads. He sighs impatiently but let’s me go at my own pace. This is the first birthday present I’ve gotten since my tenth birthday. I’m going to savor it.

When I take the lid off the box my heart stops. My hand flies to my mouth, tears filling my eyes. I turn to him. “How did you know?” I whisper, wondering if I’m dreaming.

“The last letter your grandpa sent said you had been begging for roller skates for your birthday. He never got a chance to give you a pair.”

I push the box to the floor and throw myself into his arms, crying for all the things I’ve lost and all that I’ve gained. “I love you, dad. Thank you!”

He chuckles. “I didn’t know roller skates would make you so happy.”

Leaning back, I stare into his handsome face. “You’ve made me the happiest girl in the world.”

I slide back into my seat picking the box up. “They are even my size.”

“Did you think I would buy you skates that didn’t fit.” He laughs, tugging at his beard. “You want to go try those bad boys out?”

Nodding happily, I busy myself lacing them. They are perfect, just like the pair the Ditsworth girls had. My dad drives us across town to the roller rink.

“Oh, bummer. They looked closed.” There’s not a car in sight.

“Oh, surely someone is here,” he says, hopping out, undaunted by the vacant lot.

I grab my skates and follow him. The door is unlocked but once inside we realize it’s probably not open because it’s dark. I can’t see a fricking thing past the front doors. My dad looks at me sadly.

“It’s okay dad. Another time.” I punch him in the arm and turn to head back out into the warm summer sun.

Suddenly, the lights come on. I spin around to find the entire skate floor filled with the whole gang. “Surprise!” they all yell together.

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