Page 51 of Sugar and Skulls

Katie stares up at him like he is the best thing since sliced bread. I guess I’m kind of staring at him like that too. Is this the kind of father he would have been with me? All of these kids call him Uncle Bill even though he isn’t really their uncle. It’s a term of endearment. One he obviously deserves.

“I’ll be back soon,” I whisper to Katie, giving her a quick hug.

My dad winks at me. Before I get too far away he hollers, “Don’t forget to wear your seatbelt.”

I wave without turning around. I don’t want him to see how much that simple statement affects me.

Dirk and Raffe are nowhere to be seen when I leave. Thank god. I’m going to do something I should’ve done long ago. If I would have then Katie wouldn’t have been hurt. Her picture was of a man dressed in black and a cross. What are the odds?

When I get to town I stop at Tom’s to change.

“I thought you’d gone and found yourself a boyfriend. Haven’t seen you much,” he says.

“No, just super busy with school and stuff. I’ll try to get over more. Are you planning another trip to see your daughter?”

“No, honey, I’m too tired to make the trip. Maybe next month. That girl could come to see me, the road runs both ways.”

Teddy gives me lots of sloppy kisses before going over to settle in front of Tom who has settled into his old green recliner for the evening.

I change into her, Sugar, as quickly as I can. My heart pounds in my ears. This is it. I’m going to kill a man. I remember when I was little my grandfather told me that he had killed men. He said once you kill someone it changes you forever. I asked him how many men he had killed. He didn’t answer. It’s all right here he said, running his hand over his tattoos.

Sugar stares back at me. Her sunken eyes and the hollow of her cheeks gives me confidence that she can handle this. I might not be able to, but she can. She has to. For Katie.

I sneak out the back door and hide my face until I get to Sylvia. When she purrs to life I take a deep breath. I drive another hour pulling up in front of the rectory just as the sun begins to set. Father Gabriel’s car is gone. I checked the website before driving over here. He’s still the priest here.

Still here.

Still evil.

For now.

Soon he will find himself where he really belongs.

I park a few blocks down and make my way through the alley until I end up in his back yard. The house sits in the shadows of the church. It’s peak looms over me. It stretches for the heavens, the sunset painting it a pale pink color. The cross catches the last bit of sun, blinking at me.

Will Gabriel’s god forgive me?

Do I forgive him?

If he truly exists why did he let this happen to Katie?

To me?

To William?

Pulling my leather gloves on I push on a few windows, finally finding one unlocked. I throw my bag over my shoulder and climb in.

Now to set the stage.

My breath catches at the thought. Maybe Dirk knows more about me than I thought. I push Dirk out of my mind and begin my search. When I find Gabriel’s box of sins, which was hidden in the back of his closet, I sit down at the long dining room table.

My hands shake as I peel back the lid. Carefully I pick up each photo, faces of broken children stare back at me. Eventually the face that stares back is my own. The fear I felt that day rushes through my system. I didn’t even remember that Gabriel took pictures of William and I until I held the one of Katie. The look on William’s face breaks my heart into a thousand pieces.

There will be no more photos. It ends tonight.

I toss a length of rope on the floor near the door that leads to the attached sitting room then I go to the kitchen grabbing the most expensive looking bottle of wine I can find. I pop the cork and toss it into the trash.

Waiting in the dark I pour a generous amount of wine into my mouth, careful not to let my lips touch the rim. The house is quiet, the only sound the tick of the grandfather clock in the hallway and my own breath. As I drink I allow my mind to reunite with my memories from that night.

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