Page 42 of Sugar and Skulls

“I’m going to go talk to my friends for a second and then we’ll go.”

Her little head bobs and she scoots herself back in the swing. I give her a few pushes before turning back to Dirk and Raffe.

They both squint up at me when I approach. Choking back tears, I ask for help. Something I haven’t done since I asked Dan if I could borrow his drill. “Can you call him for me?”

Raffe takes my hand and pulls me to sit between them. “What’s going on, sweetheart?”

I shake my head, unable to speak.

Dirk stands up. “I’ll call him.”

He takes a few steps away. Katie is watching me. I smile at her, she smiles back. Raffe looks from me to Katie and then back again. “Jesse.” When I turn at my name his eyes bounce over my face. “It’s okay, Jesse. We have you. Both of you.” He wraps his arm around me, and I sink into him.

Dirk walks back and gently pushes the phone up to my ear as he sits next to me.

“Jesse. Baby girl, what’s wrong?” my dad asks calmly in my ear.

I press my lips into a thin line. I’m scared. I need him to be my dad right now, really be my dad. Swallowing my pride, my anger, I ask. I ask for her and maybe a small part for me. “I need help,” I manage to squeak out.

“Oh, baby. I’m on the way.” I can hear the wind as he heads outside.

“Wait. I was thinking maybe I could come…” my voice trails off. I don’t know how to say it. I haven’t had a place that felt like home in so long.

“Give the phone to Dirk, baby. I’ll see you in a little bit, okay?”

“My friend, Katie…”

“Dirk told me. She can come too. We’ll talk when you get here.”

“Thank you,” I say on a sob. I shove the phone back to Dirk, pulling away from Raffe. I take a few steps away from them, gasping for breath. Once I’ve pulled myself together I walk over to the swings and take Katie’s hand in mine.

After I get her buckled in Dirk leans through the window. “You okay to drive?”

“Yeah, sure. Katie and I are going to swing through a drive-thru before we head out of town if that’s okay.”

He nods slowly, studying my face intently. “Of course. We’ll follow you.”

I avoid his gaze and fire up Sylvia. He steps away. My eyes trail him in the mirror as he walks back to his bike.

“Ready?” I ask Katie.

“Ready for takeoff,” she responds in a cute little robot voice.

We giggle.

While Katie is munching on her fries, I decide to call Dan.

“Hey, Doll,” he answers. He is at the shop. I can hear the faint buzz of the gun in the background.

“Dirk and Raffe are taking me to see him.”

The buzzing stops.

“I figured now was as good a time as any.” I drum my fingers over the steering wheel. “I’ll be back Sunday.”

“Jesse, that’s great. Bill is going to be over the moon.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

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