Page 41 of Sugar and Skulls

She smiles big.

When we get to the park, she runs to the equipment. She’s probably thankful to be away from the trailer.

I sit down with a sigh on the bench. The world suddenly feels so heavy. What the fuck am I going to do? I can’t call CPS, I just can’t. The suits will move her from place to place. Good or bad, they don’t care. I can’t leave her with Jenny. What. Am. I. Going. To. Do?

Think Jesse, think.

I bury my face in my hands, overcome with Katie’s situation, with memories of my own…

Someone sits down next to me. In one smooth motion I have the knife in my boot out and pressed against the man’s throat. Just as quickly someone behind me places a knife at mine.

Raffe’s beautiful, toothy, white smile breaks through my tear clouded vision after a few seconds and I drop the knife. The one at my throats retreats as well. Dirk comes around from behind and sits on the other side of me.

“You can’t sneak up on me like that,” I say angrily, panting slightly from the surge of adrenaline. My eyes dart to Katie. She is oblivious to what is going on. Her legs pump back and forth as she glides into the sky on her swing.

“Who’s the kid?” Dirk asks, lighting up a cigarette.

“Go. Away,” I demand, glaring at him.

Raffe’s hand runs over my back, enticing me to focus on him.

“Seriously, Raffe. You guys need to go.”

He shoots me a sad look. What is he trying to tell me?

“Raffe and I aren’t going anywhere. We have some things to discuss.” He sends smoke rings swirling above our heads. “Are you babysitting or something?” He points his cigarette in Katie’s direction.

Katie has stopped swinging and is staring at us nervously. No. Oh god no. She doesn’t think…

My brain rapid fires. I can’t handle the look of fear on her face.

“Stay here a minute,” I tell them.

Katie’s muscles tense and I’m afraid she’ll run as I rush towards her. “Hey, sweetie. Those guys are friends of my dad’s they aren’t going to hurt either of us.”

Her eyes focus past my shoulder to the two bikers perched on the park bench.

“I know they look scary, but they aren’t. I promise.”

Katie’s gaze moves back to me. “You have a daddy?” she asks.

I nod. “He would thump them on the heads if they hurt us,” I tell her.

She giggles. “Will your daddy be home when you take me there?”

“He…well, my dad just found me. It’s all kind of new, Katie. It’s hard to explain.”

Her eyes go big. “You’re big. If your daddy just found you then maybe there is a chance mine will come find me.”

And just like that my heart breaks into a million little pieces. Katie reaches out and twirls a piece of my hair around her dirty little finger. “Do you think your daddy would thump someone on the head for hurting me?”

I shake my head yes. I already know the answer to the question, but I need to ask. She needs to tell someone. I’ve never told anyone what happened to me. I don’t want her to carry that load. “Has someone hurt you, Katie?”

She nods and a tear runs down her cheek leaving a dirty streak. I pull her into my arms. “He isn’t going to hurt you ever again. I promise.”

She leans back wiping at her eyes. Her strength shining brightly against the dull desert landscape. “Pinky promise?” she asks.

I’ve seen girls do it. It always seemed a silly thing to do until right at this moment. I hold my hand up and wrap our pinky fingers together. She hugs me tight again.

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