Page 38 of Sugar and Skulls

“I know. I waited too…until he left.” I lean against the wall and pick at the paint on my hands.

“How long are you going to beat him up?”

“Seventeen years sounds about right.”

“Jesse, he didn’t want to be away from you. It wasn’t his choice.”

“We all have choices, Dan.” I push off the wall and head towards the back of his house. “I’m beat. Care if I shower and hit the hay?”

“Did you go to the doctor?” he asks, leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees.

I pause beside the couch. “What do you think?”

“I’ll go with you,” he says, holding as still as he can, like I’m a scared rabbit that will bolt. His face relaxes when I take the seat on the opposite end of the couch.

Biting my lip, I pull my feet up on the couch and shift to face him. “What do you see when you look at me?” I ask.

He tips his head in thought. “Someone I love, an amazing artist, a business partner.”

I blush and drop my head, so my hair covers my face. That was not what I was expecting. I wanted to know why he looks at me different. He looks at me like Will does. It’s…it’s nice. It’s safe. They don’t see what other men see.

Dan slides down the couch, his thigh brushing my toes. He lifts my head with a knuckle under my chin. His eyes scan my face. “What’s this about?”

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a pain in the ass. What a mess I’ve made of your life.”

“Life is messy, Jess. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.” He scans the rug burn on my face. “Let me take you to the doc in the morning.”

I nod my head yes.

He smiles wide. “That’s my girl.”

“I’ll warm your food up while you shower,” he says getting up from the couch.

“Thank you for everything. If you hadn’t let me hang out at the shop the last three years I…” my words trail off.

He nods, he knows. While I’m grabbing some clothes from my bag in his room I hear him on the phone with my dad.My dad.

Leaning against the wall in the hallway I listen.

“I’m taking her in to see doc in the morning.” He pauses. “What did she say?” Another pause. “Well, that’s great news, one less problem. You never doubted she was yours and I didn’t doubt it either. She has your fucking attitude.” The microwave dings and I hear him shuffle around. “She’ll come around, Bill. You can’t push her. Let her come to you.”

I push off the wall and head to the bathroom. Evidently the paternity test came back a match. I have a match. A parent. What I’ve always wanted. But, now…shit, I can’t think about that right now.

There are bigger problems to deal with, one being the picture burning a hole in my pocket. Someone will die because of it. I just hope I have the guts to do it when the time comes. I will. I have to. No matter what kind of memories it conjures.

Chapter Eighteen

Raffe

???

Bill’s jaw clenches as he watches the video Dirk is showing him. The one that will prove to Bill that his little girl is still there, she’s just buried under her anger towards him. Question is will Dirk show him the other video.

I told him I thought it would be a bad idea. That car was filled with her demons. Demons she alone will have to slay. I’m speaking from experience.

When I was thirteen I ran away from home. It wasn’t a bad home but, I was stupid. I thought something better was waiting for me. Their rules stifled me, or so I thought. Looking back, I see that my parents loved me. Their rules were there to protect me.

A friend of mine said she met a man who was going to help her break into the modeling world. So, one day her and I packed our bags and hitchhiked our way to the big city. When we got to the apartment on the business card the man had given her it all seemed legit. We were both so excited. She was truly a natural beauty.

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