Page 66 of Watercolor Skulls

Dirk notices my attempt to close myself off. He leans forward, pulling my arms away from my body. “I understand there is a lot to talk about but first things first, do you know where Jenny is right now.”

I shake my head yes.

“She’s gone, Dirk,” Raffe answers for me. He takes my hand in his and offers me a small sad smile.

Dirk slides forward and pulls us both into a group hug. “I’m so sorry, man.”

This is uncomfortable, awkward, strange, and so wonderful. Tears start to fall down my cheeks again. I’ve never had anyone to grieve Jenny’s death with. My father didn’t shed one tear for her.

Wait, maybe I can help Jenny get home now. The thought of giving her and her family peace gives me a burst of newfound purpose.

“We need to get her home.”

They both look at me.

My fingers tingle and stomach knots as I prepare myself to let the floodgates open. For seventeen years I’ve wanted to confide in someone. I had thoughts of telling my teachers, and then my professors. My fear of him always won out. I can’t say why that fear is so great. He never hurt me. It was just a look, something I saw in his eyes that scared the hell out of me.

I’m not alone anymore. With their help I could do this. My dad would never know.

“You know where she is?” Raffe asks, his eyes bouncing frantically over my face.

I nod, pulling his hands into mine and dragging them to my chest. “We will need her family to help though.

“She’s a Jane Doe?” Dirk asks.

My gaze falls to him. He is running his hand over the scruff on his face, his eyebrow pitched high in thought.

“There’s so much to explain but yes, she is buried in a public cemetery in San Francisco as Jane Doe.”

Raffe grabs my arm, forcing me to face him. “If you know where she is why haven’t you told someone who she was?”

I grimace as his grip tightens on my arm. Dirk reaches out and taps his hand. Raffe drops his gaze, pulling away quickly once he realizes he’s hurting me.

“I’m sorry,” he scoots away from me.

He’s getting angry but I understand. It’s only going to get worse, unfortunately.

Rubbing the sting he left behind, I explain. “I didn’t know who she was. In fact, I still don’t know.”

“What do you know?” Dirk asks, tipping his head slightly.

Sighing, I stand and walk over to the window, staring out over the lake. I can’t see the dragonflies from here, but I know they are there. She loved Raffe. I can trust him…them.

“I know she was an amazing soul who had the misfortune of catching my dad’s eye. We were going to run away together but we waited too long, there was always a reason to wait, then some things happened.” I pause as the memories of those final months crawl their way to the forefront of my mind.

Dirk stands and walks me back to the bed, handing me a bottle of water. “Is this the first time you’ve talked about this?” he asks.

I nod after taking a small sip.

“What happened to her?” He takes the bottle from my shaking hands and caps it.

That stupid knot climbs up my throat, threatening to close off my oxygen. “She took her own life,” I say quietly. “Jenny didn’t have any identification. If I had known her last name maybe I could have went to the police and they could have contacted her family before my dad found out.” I shake my head, the hopelessness I felt floods my system.

Raffe stands abruptly and storms out of the room. I flinch as the door slams shut behind him.

“Don’t worry, he’s just processing.”

My hands shake as I press them over my thighs. I rub over the coarse material of my jeans, back and forth, not realizing I’m rocking myself as I do.

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