Page 63 of Watercolor Skulls

Just as I’m starting to doze a sound pulls me from my bed. Someone is crying. I walk the halls slowly, stopping in front of Lily’s door. I knock lightly, the sobbing pauses. I push the door open and peek inside. Lily is laying on her bed facing the windows.

“Lily, are you okay?” I ask, tiptoeing closer to her.

She’s shaking so hard I decide to crawl in behind her. When I pull the covers up to slide in I see a bright red spot on the sheets. My eyes slowly roll up her body. “Oh, Lily,” I whisper.

“I told him I wanted to wait but he said it was my duty,” she spits out, her tears coming faster now.

My blood boils. Benjamin is the spitting image of her fucking father. And from the looks of it, heading down the exact same path.

Well fuck this. Lily isn’t going down that path with him. Fuck. That.

“Come on, sweetie. Let’s get you in the shower and I’ll get you some clean sheets.”

She stares at me as I set the temperature of the water. “I’m so sorry, Jenny,” she cries, tears streaming down her face. “I’m so sorry if my dad hurts you that way.”

I pull her into my arms. “You are my bright spot, Lily. Don’t ever think you need to apologize for him.”

She sniffles before whispering, “I didn’t like it.”

Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, I kiss her forehead gently. When I pull back I look her straight in the eye. “Someday you will find someone who loves you.”

She shakes her head, wanting to disagree with me.

“You will and when you do please let him heal you, Lily. Let him love you and allow him to show you how good it can be. Promise me.” I grip her chin, forcing her to look at me.

She nods.

“Say it,” I demand.

“I promise.”

“Good. Now get in the shower and I’ll change the sheets.”

She steps in closing the door behind her.

My heart breaks for her. I don’t think she realizes what it is that just happened to her. She thinks it was simply her first time. It was more than that. She told him she wanted to wait. He didn’t listen. There’s one word for that.

As I’m changing the bedding I think about my first time. I guess I have a hard time with that word myself. Anyhow, I was scared, then that fear turned to anger. My first time was supposed to have been with Raffe. Not that he knew that. In his eyes we were just friends. He didn’t know how hard I crushed on him.

It was my fault I never got the chance to tell him.

Some guy had approached me at the mall one day and asked if I had ever thought about becoming a model. He gave me his card and told me if I was ever in the city to look him up.

So, I convinced Raffe to go with me and we hitched our way from the suburbs.

He was beautiful and rebellious.

I was fresh and carefree.

We could have traveled the world, experiencing all the wonderful things. Instead I led us straight to hell.

Sitting on the bed waiting for Lily, I wrap my fingers around the dragonfly necklace Raffe gave me. “Please let him be okay,” I pray quietly. “And, if possible, help me find a way to make it up to him, to make up for all the pain I brought upon him.”

I make the sign of the cross, my fingers dragging lightly across my chest. Finishing the prayer, I hope that the big man comes through this time.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Raffe

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