Page 60 of Watercolor Skulls

“There are so many, Lily. You will see,” little Jackson rambles on.

We walk past Bill and Katie. They smile at us.

“I’m showing her the dragonflies,” Jackson tells them, proudly puffing up his chest.

He jumps up and down, pointing over the water when we reach the end of the dock. “See! I told you,” he squeals excitedly.

My heart squeezes painfully as my eyes drop to the little boy beside me. Oh god. I choke on a sob, anxiety flooding my system.

The dragonflies dart over the dark water of the lake. I close my eyes, trying to stop my racing thoughts but it’s too much. I open my eyes, seeing a different time, a different day.

The water looks so peaceful. Wouldn’t it be easier?

I barely notice Jackson tugging on my hand.

That’s why she left. It was easier. Maybe I should join her. I thought I could hide but where do you hide from memories?

“Uncle Bill, somethings wrong with Lily,” Jackson yells, it’s muffled…he sounds so far away.

Far away.

Far away.

I lean forward wanting to reach out and run my hands through the ripples in the water when someone wraps an arm around me.

“Katie, take Jackson back up to the house and get Dan,” Bill rasps.

I struggle to free myself so I can fall. All I need to do is fall. Please just let me fall. Maybe this time it won’t hurt.

“Lily, honey, look at me,” Bill says, trying to turn me away from the water.

My body feels heavy, my mind foggy, my heart broken, my soul lost.

“I wasn’t jumping,” I whisper to the dragonflies. “I was falling, falling, falling,” I repeat.

Someone grabs my face, turning it towards the sun.

My sun.

Amber eyes draw me closer and closer until I come up for air, gasping.

Dan pulls me into his chest, allowing me to collapse in his arms. “What is going on?” he breathes into my hair.

I roll my head back and forth over his solid chest.

Jesse runs her hand over my hair, standing behind me. “Lily, talk to us, girl.”

“I…I’m not feeling very well. Can you take me home, please?” I sob into Dan’s shirt.

“No,” Dirk says from somewhere to the side of us. “She stays.”

Oh god. They are going to hate me.

“I agree,” Raffe says quietly in the background.

I cry harder.

Dan squeezes me. “Let’s go up to my room, baby.”

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