Page 28 of Watercolor Skulls

I nod.

Dan takes two big steps inside and kicks my door shut with the bottom of his boot, slamming it shut. The noise echoes through the entire house.

My pulse kicks into overdrive. Holy shit. I mean…oh to hell with it, I mean holy shit!

He takes his leather jacket off and drops it on the coffee table by my purse, not taking his eyes off me. “Do you have a bed or are we going to do this right here?”

Oh.Oh.

This is really happening.

My finger points to the floor above us. I’m so stunned I can’t speak. He picks me up, my legs automatically wrap around his waist and my arms drape around his neck. Dan walks us upstairs slowly, never letting me look away from him.

His hands are on my ass. On my ass. Oh my god. Oh my god.

When we get in my bedroom, he sets me gently on my feet and turns back to close the door, quietly this time.

My body begins to tremble. No. No. Not now. I’m not scared. I’m not.

He leans his back against the door, studying me closely. “Cold?”

Biting my lip, I shake my head no. I stare at the floor, watching him in my peripheral.

When he moves I jump. Dammit. I don’t want him to think I’m a scared little rabbit.

“I’m going to ask you this once so listen closely because I’m not going to have any restraint left after this. Understand?”

I nod my head.

“Do you want me here? And, by here I mean in your bedroom and in your bed?”

He’s given me several chances to back out and I can tell by his tone this is my last one. I don’t want to give him mixed messages. I decide honesty is the best policy.

“I want you here.” I take a few steps closer to him. “I’ve…well, I’ve only been with one person and it wasn’t…” my words trail off.

How do you tell someone you’ve only had obligatory sex? Benjamin only had sex with me because it was expected of us. It was humiliating and I hated every minute of it. He wasn’t nice. Benjamin treated me like I was nothing more than a sex doll. In fact, that’s all I’ve ever been to any of them. Just a stupid doll.

“It wasn’t good?” Dan finishes for me.

“No, it wasn’t good. I’m sorry. I just don’t want to give you the impression that I’m experienced…I’m not.”

“Are you on birth control?”

I nod.

He walks across the room and sits down on my bed. “When you say it wasn’t good,” he pauses, a pained look crossing his features.

“I wasn’t forced,” I quickly interrupt, seeing where he was going.

Dan lets out a long breath.

“It’s hard to explain.”

“I’m intense, Lily. Not, to mention a whole lot older than you. And bossy. Very bossy. Maybe I’m not the right guy for you to try new experiences with.”

I sit down beside him and pull his hands into mine. “I trust you Dan. I want this. I really, really want this.”

He sighs brushing his thumb back and forth over my fingers. “You saw how possessive I was at the bar.”

---