Page 105 of Watercolor Skulls

“How do you think she sees it?” I ask, confused.

“Honestly, I think she sees it as something that was expected of her, something that would eventually happen, and it did. She wasn’t ready, but in her mind she thinks her reluctance was some silly thing and that he had a right. Predators have a way of making their victim carry all the shame. Make them feel like they are being ridiculous and overreacting.”

When I don’t say anything he straightens, preparing to go back to his room. “I just wanted to give you a heads up, cousin.”

“Thanks.” I don’t know what else to say.

Dirk heads upstairs, leaving me alone to wallow in my thoughts.

I can’t deny that Lily has brought chaos to my life. But she’s also brought splashes of color that make my heart pump faster. I’ve never felt more alive. Tonight, that color was red. I was so angry I couldn’t see straight. I’ve never wanted to strangle someone more in my whole life. I hope I made it clear to the asshole that if I ever see him again he is as good as dead.

I’m sure it will be fresh in his mind for a little while anyway. I smile, thinking of how humiliating it must have been for him to have stumbled out of the bar covered in his own blood and urine. He was a mess, but I didn’t kill him. Oh, how I wanted to.

Finishing the bottle of water, I crumble it in my hand, the plastic makes a horrible sound. I toss it in the trash as I make my way to the stairs. I take them slowly as my mind clears. Calm, I need to be calm.

As much as this sucks I can’t wish it to be any other way. I mean I hate she had to go through all that shit but if she hadn’t…if she hadn’t would she have fell into my lap?

It’s these thoughts that make me quicken my steps. I need to see her. To feel her. I didn’t want to leave her, but I had to. I wasn’t myself. It would have frightened her. I’ve never felt so out of control in all my life. But my club came through. Just like always. We protect what’s ours. They took care of me and her.

It’s dark when I push the door to my room open. A tiny lump is buried under the covers, facing away from me, scooted as far as possible to the edge of the bed. As I undress I watch as she trembles beneath the blanket. She’s not fooling anyone.

“Have you showered?” my voice cuts through the silence.

She stills.

“Come shower with me, baby,” I try again. My words calm, hopefully soothing.

She takes in a big shuddery breath before pushing the covers aside and sitting herself upright. Another deep breath and she follows me into the bathroom, refusing to meet my eyes.

Grabbing the hem of her shirt, I tug it over her head. Then I slide her panties down her slender legs, letting my hands run back up them in a calming motion. After I get the water adjusted I take her hand and pull her into the shower with me.

The minute the warm water hits her back she lets out a whimper. I pull her into my arms and hug her tight. “Let it out, baby. Let it all out.” I rub circles over her back as she cries it out.

After several minutes I begin to slowly wash her. As I run my soapy hands over her arms I notice she still hasn’t looked me in the eye. I stop abruptly and grip her chin. She inhales sharply, bracing for what’s to come. I force her head back. “Look at me, Lily.”

She pinches her eyes shut tight. “I can’t. Oh, god I can’t,” she cries. “I’m…I’m so embarrassed, Dan.”

“Nonsense. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. But I understand why you feel that way.”

My understanding must be the magic key that unlocks something inside her because she opens her eyes. She opens them and they literally suck my soul clean from my body. How could anyone look into those big brown eyes and hurt her. It’s unfathomable.

“Do…do you think I’m like him?”

This knocks me on my ass. I stutter, “Like who?”

“Like my father?”

Wait. I thought she was upset about Benjamin, but she’s been living with that for some time. It wasn’t as much a revelation to her as it was to me. But her father’s involvement was. I take a deep breath, reigning in my emotions.

“You are nothing like him.” I grip her chin tighter. I shove my nose to hers. “Nothing.”

“But I like…” she closes her eyes.

“What you and I do is consensual. It’s between us and if we like a little risk in our play that’s our business. What your father does is entirely different. Never compare yourself to him.”

She cracks one eye open then the other.

“I will not let you feel bad about what we do. It pisses me off to no end that you had to hear those things from that little bitch.”

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