Page 79 of Watercolor Skulls

My eyes meet his again. This man has so much power. He could have used it for good. He could have chosen to help people like Jenny. Instead he used it to hurt her. I sigh loudly, ready for him to remove his hand and his presence.

“Good?” he asks.

“Yes, sir.”

He leans down and brushes his dry lips across my cheek. I close my eyes, swallowing the bile that rises up my throat.

The girls come back in giggling. I’m sure my dad said something charming to them. Smoke in mirrors. All smoke in mirrors.

I let them do their worst. My body relaxes as the pill my father gave me kicks in.

After my father found me in the hall as a child, with a hand full of vomit, the tiny pill became a bedtime snack. I think he gave it to me to keep me in my bed and most importantly away from the other wing.

I’m not sure when the practice ended. I suppose when Jenny came. He didn’t hide her because she was so wonderful even he saw it. He wasn’t content with only one night. His greed with her ultimately led to his demise with me.

Jenny told me I could have more.

And then a group of Skulls showed me just how much more.

More wonder, more magic, more love…

I can’t live without it.

The girl who did my makeup snaps in front of my face. “Hello, earth to Ms. Ramsey.”

When I focus on her she laughs.

“You act like you’re going to a funeral. It’s your wedding. You’re marrying one of the top ten most eligible bachelors in the country. Smile for god’s sake.”

“Fuck you,” I say blandly.

Her mouth falls open. The other girl pulls her away from me. “We’ll tell them you’re ready.”

I walk to the window, sliding it open. My eyes take in my father’s beautiful flower garden with brightly colored bird feeders scattered amongst the blooms. It’s his little space, no one else is allowed to feed the birds. Yet he never sits out there to enjoy them.

My hands shake as I bunch this stupid dress in my fist and lower one leg and then the other to ledge outside my window. I sit down and scoot so that I’m out of reach, my feet dangling over the edge. Tiny wisps of hair tickle the side of my face, but I don’t brush them away, scared I might fall.

You are wondering if I’m going to jump. I don’t know what I’m going to do. This is my only escape. Maybe I’ll just sit here till I waste away.

“Lily!” My mother’s shrill voice screeches to my left. I turn my face towards her. “Lily, get back in here, right now!”

I smile at her. “Hello, Mother.”

“Lily, right now.”

“Have you ever been free?” I ask her, kicking my feet back and forth, my fingers locked around the cool cement of the ledge. Euphoria sets in from dad’s little pill. It’s working its magic.

“Lily. You’re leaving me no choice. I’m going to have to go get your father.”

I laugh. “So, that’s a no then?”

She stares at me, her lips parted.

“It’s wonderful mother. Have you ever let your hair whip in the wind while driving down a lonely road? Have you ever had a man whisper dirty things in your ear while bringing your body the most pleasure it’s ever known? Have you looked in a child’s eyes and wondered how the world could get any more perfect?” She stares at me like I’ve grown two heads.

I chuckle sadly. “No? Hm, didn’t think so.” I continue to swing my legs precariously. “Well I have. I lived more in the last two weeks than I have in my entire twenty five years.”

She pulls her head back inside.

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