Page 104 of Watercolor Skulls

“I don’t want Dan to get in trouble for me. I’m glad Bill took care of him.” I sniffle.

“That’s what we do. We take care of each other,” Raffe says as he stands to get our shoes.

We drive back to the warehouse in Jesse’s rod. She drives and I sit on Raffe’s lap in the passenger seat. He hugs me around the waist. “We’ll get through this, Lily. We’re going to find those damn flip drives. For you and for Jenny.”

When we pull in I notice right away that Dan and Bill haven’t returned. Raffe suggests we have a drink, but the thought of drinking makes my stomach turn. “I think I’m just going to hit the hay,” I say tiredly. He nods and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

It’s weird walking into Dan’s dark room alone. I begged Jesse to take me to my house but with the threat of my dad coming for me again she wouldn’t budge. I’m so sacred of what he’ll say. How he’ll look at me.

I decide it best if I just shut the lights off and pretend to be asleep when he comes in. Which he does several minutes later. He’s quiet as he shuffles around. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying my best to control the tremor running through my body.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Dan

???

When Bill and I get back to the warehouse we find Dirk waiting for us. “Hey, man.” I try to slide past him. He places a hand against my chest.

“We need to talk.”

“I’m sorry I left Raffe and Jesse at the bar with her.” I drop my head in shame.

Bill walks past us. “I’m going to bed. You two hash this out and then get your asses to bed.”

“Yes, sir.” Dirk salutes him.

Bill chuckles and jogs up the steps disappearing down the hall. Dirk took over as president of the club a few years ago when Bill decided it was time for him to retire. But Dirk still looks to Bill as his president.

Dirk walks behind the bar and reaches in the fridge, tossing me a bottle of water. I gladly accept it, downing it in two seconds. He laughs, throwing me another. I catch it and lean against the counter. “I had to hit something.”

“I know.” He glances at my knuckles.

“Again, I’m sorry I left. Raffe and Jesse shouldn’t have had to pick up pieces that were meant for me to collect.”

He shakes his head. “You don’t get it. That was part of their healing.”

I dig my finger and thumb into my eyeballs. Too much fucking pain in this world. Sometimes I forget what my best friends have been through. Fucking Christ, how many sick fucks are there in this world.

“They handled it. That’s what we do.” Dirk lights up a cigarette, blowing smoke rings over his head. “I get what you’re going through. This talk is for you.”

“I don’t need any of your shrink shit, cousin.”

His eyebrows crawl up his forehead, telling me I’m going to hear what he has to say whether I want to or not.

“Lily disagreed with what that scumbag told you,” he says.

Blinking at him slowly, I try to figure out what that means.

“She said it wasn’t rape,” he deadpans.

“But…” I don’t fucking understand.

“Dan, she doesn’t get it. Or…” he holds up a finger, coming around the bar to stand beside me, “she doesn’t want to get it. It’s a hard word to wrap your mind around.”

“I don’t understand. The fucker admitted it.”

Dirk’s face softens, he gives me a rare glimpse at the man beneath all the dark ink and intimidating snarls. “Some victims blame themselves. Maybe she thinks she led him on.” He shrugs his shoulders. “It could be anything actually, but she doesn’t see it as rape.”

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