“What kind of questions?” I ask, not sure I want to know the answer.
“He asked him about the flip drives.” She looks up at the stars. “And he asked about the video your dad took of the two of you. I’m sorry. I had to tell him.”
“What did he say?” I ask quietly. So quiet I’m not sure she heard me.
“He wanted to know how a video of the two of you could be used as blackmail. Because you had been in a relationship and you were of age. It wouldn’t have been abnormal to have had sex with him.”
I cringe and curl myself into a little ball. “Well, because it’s embarrassing, that’s why. Benjamin wouldn’t want everyone to see us together like that.”
Jesse stares at me for a long, long, moment. She wraps her arm around me, pulling me close. “Lily, Benjamin told Dan the truth.”
“What truth?”
She takes a deep breath. “That he raped you.”
“He…he didn’t rape me.” I pull my head back, staring at her.
“He said the first time you were together you told him you wanted to wait. You fought him…” her thought trails off.
I shake my head back and forth trying to stand up. “No, it wasn’t rape. I just wanted to wait but we had been dating and…”
Jesse doesn’t release her hold on me. Raffe scoots closer, wrapping his arm around me too.
“Our first time might have been a little rough, but it was just the one time.”
“Dan asked him how many times he raped you. He said he didn’t have to after the first time. He said you just laid there and...” She stops as I burst into tears.
“It wasn’t rape,” I tell them over and over again, sobbing uncontrollably. It wasn’t. It just wasn’t.
Raffe speaks to me calm and quiet. “Lily, you told him you wanted to wait, he didn’t wait. That is the very definition of rape.”
I sniffle, looking at him. “We,” he motions between him and Jesse, “we both know what it’s like. I’m sorry it happened to you.”
Jesse pulls me into her chest, letting me weep in her arms. She rocks me back and forth, holding me tight.
As my tears dry a fat raccoon meanders out from behind a tree. It waddles over to the trash bins. Raffe laughs quietly. “Mama Bear has been trying to catch that damn thing for months.”
Jesse laughs too. “Just wait. Dad leaves him sandwiches every night.”
Sure enough it reaches behind the can and pulls out a sandwich. He sits down and eats it leisurely.
“Well I’ll be damned,” Raffe says. “I didn’t know Bill was such a softy.”
I roll my head, staring at Jesse. “You are lucky to have a dad like Bill.”
She nods. “I am. My dad didn’t come into my life until I was seventeen. I didn’t even know who he was until then. But he came into my life at just the right time. It was after I had been raped by several men.” She pauses, chewing on her lip. “I tried to deal with it on my own, just like you.” She runs her hand over the back of my hair. “It’s easier if you let the people who love you help. Just because we’re not your blood family doesn’t make us any less family.”
“I don’t know what I did to deserve you guys,” I say sadly, rubbing my hand over my eyes.
“Lily, you have to stop acting like you don’t deserve to be here. You do.”
“Where did everyone else go?” I finally ask. I’ve been dying inside, wondering where Dan is at. Why he’s not here by my side. Now that he knows what happened to me do I repulse him?
“Dirk and Rachel went home to put the kids to bed and Bill and Dan went to the gym. I told him I would get you home.”
My heart cracks clean down the middle.
“Lily, it took everything inside him not to kill your ex. He was trembling with rage. Dad took him to the gym so he could take out his frustration.”