Page 102 of Watercolor Skulls

“I can’t,” I cry, holding my chest. “I can’t breathe, Raffe.” I claw at his shirt.

He takes my hands in his. “Look at me.” So, I do. “Wiggle your toes.”

“W-what,” I gasp.

“Do it. Wiggle your toes.”

The grass and soil are cool on the soles of my feet.

“That’s it. Focus on the ground and the feel of it. It’s solid beneath your feet.”

I drop my eyes and stare at my toes in the grass.

“Deep breath,” he says, holding my hands tight in his.

Taking a deep breath, I shift my foot, running it over the grass, letting it tickle the bottom of it.

“Another one,” he orders.

After we do this for several minutes, Raffe instructing my every breath, I begin to feel better. My heart starts to beat regularly again. My lungs inflate without restriction. But my mind still knows the news that set my body off and it’s devastating.

I risk a glance around, it’s just the two of us, both barefoot, standing in the grass. When my gaze stumbles on Raffe’s he smiles. “It’s called grounding.”

He seems proud of himself for talking me down. “Thank you,” I mumble, dropping my eyes.

Raffe taps me under the chin with a finger. “Look at me. I know your world feels likes its spinning out of control right now. It’s not. I promise it’s not.”

I choke back my tears, refusing to cry in front of him. We stand together just breathing for what seems like a long time. I hear bikes and cars leaving the parking lot. I wonder what is going on inside, but I can’t bear the thought of going in to see for myself.

The back door swings open and Jesse steps out. She walks towards us but Raffe stops her.

“Uh, uh, take off your socks and shoes,” he tells her.

She looks at her feet before raising a questioning scowl to Raffe.

“We’re grounding,” I say softly, then I giggle.

Jesse smiles and sits down in the grass, leaning against the fence. She takes her shoes off, rubbing her feet over the earth.

Raffe motions for me to sit next to her, then he plops to the ground on the other side of me.

Jesse sighs before speaking. “I’m going to give you the low down on what went on inside. I’m going to be honest with you, Lily. Can you handle that right now?”

I glance at Raffe. He smiles sadly. “It’s best to rip the band-aid off. I’ll be right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Okay, let me have it. It can’t be any worse than what I just learned.”

Jesse looks past me to Raffe. Their eyes transmit a silent conversation before she directs her attention to me.

“I, um, may have broken that bitch’s nose,” she starts.

I laugh, pinching the bridge of mine. God how I wish I would have seen that.

“All hell broke out. Dad kicked everyone out except for a few members of the club and your ex.”

My laughter faulters. “What? Why did he let him stay?”

“He didn’t let him. They forced him to stay.” She scratches her head, gathering her thoughts. “Dan had questions for him.” She sucks her bottom lip between her teeth.

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