Page 92 of Restrictions

She pushes my hand away. “No, I suppose you need to whore around for another ten years or so.”

“Probably.”

Her pretty eyes roll, and she doesn’t entertain a reply.

“Let’s get lost in the fantasy though, right?” She’s pissed, and I can’t lie, I love seeing the fire in her eyes as I lay out the fucked-up scenario. “Let’s say we commit. We become a couple. Get married.” My hand swipes over her flat stomach. “You pop out a couple more beautiful kids. And we’re really fucking happy.”

“Would that be so bad?”

I shake my head, staring at her pretty face. “Not at first. At first,” my lips brush over hers, “it would be bliss.”

I don’t kiss her. I resist the urge and look into her eyes. “It would be.”

“But then...” My voice is hoarse. “Then it wouldn’t be. Then I’d get bored. I’ll fucking stray, and you’ll know because I won’t even try to hide it. And instead of telling me to fuck off like you would right now because right now, you’re strong.” She’s so fucking strong, even if she doesn't know it. “Viv, you’ll go back to the old you after being worn down by me.” My fucking heart feels like it’s breaking into a million pieces inside my chest, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it because I keep going even when her breath hitches in her throat and I feel the pain I'm causing her. “You’ll try your best to make everything perfect. You’llblame yourself for my affairs, thinking if you can be the perfect wife, I'll stay. I’ll fucking destroy you.”

She shakes her head, her hand covering her throat, and I know she’s trying to keep from crying because it all hurts too much. Because it’s true, the truth hurts. And I've never been more honest.

“You wouldn’t do that to me, Asher.”

“I’m a Sterling.” She looks away, rejecting my reasoning, and I take her chin in my hand and gently turn her to face me. “It’s what we do. We fucking pillage. We destroy the good.”

She shakes her head, and I offer her an example, one that stings just to think about.

“Colt was the best guy I ever knew, but he was a Sterling...” My forehead leans against hers as I breathe her in. “And he fucked you when he was dating and nearly engaged to Penelope.”

Her eyes lift to meet mine, and I lose the contact with the skin of her forehead. “You aren’t him.”

“He was better.”

She shakes her head and strokes my cheek with her hand. “It doesn’t have to happen that way. Penelope and Lincoln are happy.”

“For. Now.” I place my hand over hers that’s currently resting against my face. “I’ll shatter you into a million pieces, and then some other motherfucker will come and pick up the pieces. Putting you back together because I destroyed you.” A tear falls down her cheek, and she sniffles, and I close my eyes, leaning my forehead against hers again. “I don’t want to be your first husband.”

“I hate your honesty.”

I smile sadly. “No, you don’t.”

She takes a step back, wiping her cheek. “You’re right though. That story...” She swallows and looks sick. “That’s exactly my parents. My father loves to cheat, but my mother refuses to end it. Even though it seems like he’s been trying to get her to for years.” She laughs, but there’s no happiness. It’s not her usual light laugh I love. “We are so cliché. Rich kids with unhappy parents.”

I grasp her small shoulders. “We don’t have to be them.”

“So what now?”

I hate this. “I don’t know. I guess sex is out.”

My gaze lowers, scanning her body and then moving back up to herface, knowing how badly I'm going to miss her body. Her head nods. “Yes.” Her voice lowers, and she looks nervous. “Do you want to move out?”

The thought is terrifying to me. “Do you want me to?”

She shakes her head, and I feel slightly relieved. “No. Not at all.” She still looks anxious. “But can we just go back?”

My shoulders shrug. “Penelope left Lincoln for two years when the feelings got too intense.”

“I couldn’t be away from you for two years.” Her confession startles us both, but it makes me smile.

“I couldn’t either.” My hand smooths over her hair. “And I couldn’t be away from Baz for that long.”

She nods. “We can do this for him.” She nods again as if she’s trying to convince herself. “We can.”

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