Page 89 of Restrictions

Again. No emotion. How does she do that? “Not you.”

She’s the second Sterling to tell me how I feel, and it annoys me greatly as I steel my spine. “I wasn’t in love with Colt when I had sex with him.”

Now she flinches. For the first time. Her face morphs, overtaken by emotion when I say her brother’s name, but it only lasts a brief moment. “Fine.” She lets out a soft breath. “But not you with Asher.”

“I’m not in love with Asher.”

“You don’t have to lie to me.”

“I’m not.” It’s not convincing. Not to her. Not to me.

“I saw the way you jumped up from the table when he was hurting. I saw the absolute need inside you to comfort him.”

“We’re friends.”

“He cares about you too.”

“Because we’re friends.”

Her hand smooths over my knee in a comforting, big sister gesture as her eyes meet mine. “He may even love you too.”

My heart speeds up at the mere thought, and I pray she can’t tell. “We aren’t in love. It’s an arrangement. Nothing more.”

“A friends with benefits sort of thing?” I nod. Knowing how ridiculous it sounds. “Unfortunately for you, I really care about you, Vivienne.”

I cock my head to the left, confused by what she’s saying. “Why is that unfortunate?”

“Because I'm brutally honest with the people I care about.” Her hand curves over my knee and her eyes grab mine, holding on. “This is fucking stupid.”

I stare, my mouth slightly agape. I close it and try to think of a rebuttal.

“You guys cannot just have sex and be friends and raise Baz together, saying you don’t have feelings for one another. You’re going to get hurt.”

“I would never hurt Asher.”

I see pity in her eyes as her head tilts to the side. “No.You’regoing to get hurt.”

“He’s really not the monster you all make him out to be.” I bite and then think better of it, sinking back into the cushion.

“He’s not. Not at all, but he’s young. Very young.”

“He’s a year younger than me.”

Her eyes are knowing. “You had a child young which forced you to grow up, and you have. You are strong and mature. He has so much growing left to do.”

I hate that I know she’s right. I don’t want to admit it. “He’s changed a lot.”

She nods, and I see she isn’t trying to be my enemy... she’s trying her best to be my ally. “He has, and he is...” She sighs sadly. “He is sostrong, but he doesn’t know it. He doesn’t know who he is, and that isn’t good for anybody.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t want to stop.”

It’s not a question, and I shake my head from side to side, flames heating my cheeks from shame. “No.”

“The longer it goes on, the worse it will hurt.” She laughs sadly. “I’m assuming.”

I wonder if she’s been through this before and what she has to hide because it seems like all the Sterlings have deep, dark secrets of their own. “I know.”

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