Page 41 of Restrictions

She swims over to get Baz, and I climb out of the pool, not able to be that close to her wearing that bikini any longer. Sawyer follows soon after, joining me in the lounge chair to my left. “Holy shit.” Viv is swimming with Baz on the opposite side of the pool as Sawyer shakes his head at me, appreciating Viv way too much. “Who the hell knew she was hiding that body under there?”

“Suddenly feeling nice toward Viv, huh?”Prick.

He laughs and leans back in his chair. “How the fuck could I not? Holy shit. I mean, I always thought she was pretty, but dayum.”

“Stop looking at her like that before I remove your fucking eyes.”

He’s totally unbothered by my threat, his eyes still glued to Viv. “She’s loosened up a bit since high school.”

“Did you ever even talk to her in high school?”

“Once.” He laughs, tucking an arm under his head. People assume Sawyer and I are exactly alike. It’s why we’ve always gotten along. Both rich, spoiled pretty boys used to getting what we want. Fucking around, never taking life seriously. And on paper, that is us. But unlike Sawyer, shit tends to eat at me. This motherfucker, nothing bothers him. Like nothing. “At that party she got knocked up at.”

I sit up in my chair and face him. “What?”

He laughs, either not registering my tone or not giving a fuck, but I’m on edge. “Yeah. It was that fucking bigass party at Taylor’s house like a month before prom. You were there too, asshole.”

“No, I fucking wasn’t. How do you know that’s the one? We went to a lot of parties.”

“Wedid.Theydidn’t.” He shrugs. “When you told me about everything, I didn’t think anything of it, but then I put it all together. Iremember seeing Vivienne talking to Colt. I thought it was you at first, but then I saw it was Colt. You fuckers all looked alike.”

I shake my head. “I wasn’t fucking there. If I saw Colt at a party, I would have remembered it.” And I would have told him to go the fuck home. I knew Colt was struggling before he died. Our father is a whole new level of asshole, always messing with Colt’s head, but I still never saw all the self-destruction coming. If I would have seen him at a party without his girl, drinking and about to make a huge mistake, surely I would have said something.

Colt never went to parties. I went to a lot. It would have stuck out to me, and I’ve racked my brain trying to remember him or Viv at any of them and came up blank.

“You were pretty fucked-up that night, and I don’t think he was there that long. I was pretty fucked-up myself that night, but I’m almost positive. Anyway, when Viv first got there, I couldn’t believe the Ice Queen was making an appearance at an actual party and said it out loud to her.”

“Guessing that didn’t go over well.”

I glance over at Viv briefly and see her letting Baz swim on his stomach as she holds him and look back at Sawyer as he laughs. “Nope. She wanted nothing to do with me.”

“Is that why you give her such a hard time now?”

He shakes his head, his grin irritating me. “I don’t give her a hard time. You know me, I’m just not a fan of uptight prisses, which is what I thought she was.”

I stare at him, cold and unwavering, “Keep thinking that.”

I don’t like his use of present tense. Viv does not need to be on his radar. “I don’t know, man. I like this version of Vivienne Crenshaw.”

I lay back in my chair and try a breathing technique so I don’t strangle my friend. “She’s off-limits.”

“Come on . . .”

I turn to look at him, cutting him off. “She’s off-limits.” He rolls his eyes and tips his head up toward the sun, and I do the same, closing my eyes. “You saw Colt that night?”

“Briefly, man. He didn’t look like himself, and then I went upstairs with Monica. It seemed so insignificant at the time, but it all kind of clicked.”

“Why are you just now telling me?”

His shoulders shrug. “What does it matter? It happened. His awesome kid is here because of that night. He’s not. I didn’t think it mattered.”

I guess it doesn’t. At least it shouldn’t. He’s right. It’s not like anything can be done now, not that I would want Baz not to be here. I can’t imagine life without that kid, but that night definitely sent us all down a very different path.

I was at the party where Colt cheated on Penelope with Viv, where they made Baz. And I had no fucking idea something so lifechanging was happening because I was so lost in my own world.

18

VIVIENNE

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