When it comes to Linc, I have a really hard time holding back.
36
VIVIENNE
They gave Baz his own room in their home.
He didn’t even have his own room at my parents’ house. I know that Asher has a lot of issues with Penelope and Lincoln, but to me, they’re people who should have hated me, but they didn’t.
Instead, they accepted my son and me. They’ve tried, put in a real effort, and I’m forever grateful.
We sit down to dinner as Tony brings over the golden turkey, placing it in the middle of the table.
Everyone sits, and plates are made. A prayer is said, and we all dig in.
Baz is extremely happy as he stuffs his face on one side of me while Asher sits still and rigid on my other side across from Lincoln, Penelope, and Lola.
“I can’t get over how much he looks like Colt.”
My eyes widen slightly as I look down at the other end of the table where Nora’s smiling face watches Baz.
My parents never knew Colt as anyone other than “one of the Sterling boys,” and Asher and Sawyer never really talk about him.
It’s slightly jarring, but her face is so serene as she watches him.
“Yeah, he even has his laugh.” I turn to see the same sort of smile on Penelope’s face.
She should hate me most of all. She was Colt’s girlfriend when I got pregnant, and although she did take a year or two to come around, she was never hateful to me.
Asher told me the same thing.
I don’t remember Colt’s laugh. The night we conceived Baz we weren’t exactly laughing, and that was the longest I was ever around him.
Penelope and Lincoln share a look, and it’s a happy one, harboring no resentment. To me, Penelope is an extraordinary person.
“And his cowlick.” Nora smiles as she takes a sip of wine.
I laugh and ruffle Baz’s hair, but he swipes me away. “Yeah, it just doesn’t go away.”
Nora’s face is bright with the love I know she feels for all her children, and she laughs again. “We finally gave up and just let it do what it wanted with Colt.”
“That’s what I had to do too.”
Her warm eyes meet mine. “I’m so happy you’re here.” She looks around the table. “That you’re all here.”
I feel Asher stiffen, the tension rolling off him in waves, and I know I can’t do anything. Sawyer’s words ring in my ears about the Sterlings knowing about Asher and me, even if I don’t think what we’re doing is that wrong.
“Are we all going to be here for Christmas?” I barely recognize Asher’s voice. It’s strained and coming from his tightly-clenched mouth.
Nora shakes her head no. “No. Christmas will be at my house.” He nods, and the entire mood at the table has shifted as people eat nervously. Nora looks at Asher. “I hope everyone will be there too.”
Only more awkward now as Asher answers, “I’ll be there.”
I breathe a sigh of relief, but for whatever reason Nora has a follow-up. “And this summer...”
“No.”
My eyes widen as I look at Asher and see his jaw tick with anger.