Page 45 of Restrictions

I smile at that. “She bakes?”

He looks over at me like I’m crazy, but the closest my own mother ever came to an oven was barking orders at the family cook. “Yeah. She loves it.”

I let out a heavy breath, trying to stay calm. “Good.”

“You know, if he wants to come home, she’ll either bring him or call you right away.”

“She mentioned that. I know she will.”

“I don’t want to come home,” Baz whines, and I shake my head, standing and ruffling his unruly hair.

“I know, sweetie. You don’t have to. You’re going to have so much fun.”

I keep repeating that as I walk upstairs and go into his room, looking at the blue walls and the baby picture on his dresser. One of me holding him in a rocking chair when he was fussy and teething but wanted to cuddle with me. Then one on his second birthday with cake all over his face.

Time goes way too fast.

“My mom’s here.”

I hear Asher’s voice coming from the doorway and turn around to face him. “Okay.”

I walk to Baz’s closet and pull out a navy overnight bag and fill it with his little clothes but freeze when I feel Asher’s large body behind mine. “He’ll be okay.”

“I know. It’s just crazy how he’s already three and wanting to be independent.”

“I’m pretty sure he still needs you.” I feel his breath on the back of my neck, and that familiar shiver is back, spreading through my body.

“I know I still need him.”

I turn around to face Asher, even after over three years of knowing him, I’m still unprepared for the sheer handsomeness of his face. “What are you going to do tonight?”

Worry until I finally pass out. “I’m not sure. Maybe read. Might watch a movie.”

“I’m going to dinner and a movie with some friends and then a party. You wanna go?”

Knowing his friends probably include Bianca, I reply, “No thanks.”

“You sure? Being home alone all night may not be the best.”

“Actually,” I turn around to finish packing, “that’s exactly what tonight is about. Being alone. Having uninterrupted adult time and sleep for the first time in years. So I’m going to take advantage of it.”

If I can get out of my own head.

I finish packing, and we walk toward the door together. “He really will be okay, and you do deserve the night, but you could at least come out to dinner.”

It’s a little tempting, but I don’t really want to be around people.

“I think I’m going to take the quiet.”

He smiles, and we walk downstairs to greet Nora. I hug Baz way too tightly for way too long before he leaves with Nora after Asher installs his car seat in her car. He waves happily from the backseat, and I hold back my tears, plastering a smile on my face.

Asher wraps a reassuring arm around my shoulder as he holds me tightly to him and the car goes out of view. “He’s fine.”

I bury my head in his chest, not caring that the contact is probably inappropriate, and I smile when I feel his other arm wrap around me.

I stay in the moment, resting against his ridiculously hard chest and breathing him in, missing my son and hating how good Asher’s body feels against my own.

Maybe I should have installed that app on my phone for tonight.

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