Page 38 of Restrictions

Please say sit in a dark room not talking or moving for a few hours while mommy gets over her hangover. “I want Swearer to come over and we all go swimming outside! It’s sunny!”

I look out the patio doors and feel a sense of dread just thinking about that sunshine right now as my head throbs. “Okay.”

Baz jumps out of his chair and does a little happy dance that makes my head throb more, but he’s just so damn cute. “Oh yeah! Oh yeah! We’re going swimming.”

Asher grins as he takes a bite of pancake, and I look at Sebastian’s plate that only has a couple of pieces of pancake left. “Are you going to finish eating?”

“No. I go play now.”

He runs off before I can say anything, and I take a drink from my cup, praying the ibuprofen will kick in soon.

“Are you still pissed at me?”

Damn it.I was hoping we could just pretend last night didn’t happen. At least have some gentle small talk first, but that’s not his style. “Why would I be?”

My eyes meet his, and he nods his head, not sporting his usual smile as he takes another bite. “Never mind.”

I sigh and take another drink, hating that I’m an adult, and I know I can’t leave it like that. We live together. “No. You know what, I need to handle this differently. I get it, okay. You’re not attracted to me that way.” I smile the best I can. “You like fake and easy.”

“I do.” I hate his brash honesty that seems to come way too easy for him. He takes another bite off his fork and then points it at me. “And that’s not you.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I know. Are you seriously still on the ‘I can just hookup’ thing? I really thought that was just the wine talking.”

I roll my eyes, irritated that he doesn’t understand that maybe the wine made me braver, but it just brought everything up to the surface, things that have been festering for years. “Maybe the way it came out was because of the wine, but I’m still a young woman, Asher.” His eyes study me, his lips pouty and perfect as he stares at me. “I still have a desire to be wanted. To be touched.”

“Well, I can’t be the one to touch you.”

“Why?”

He stares at me, flabbergasted as he places his fork on his plate and leansback in his chair, his hand raking through his unruly hair. “You know why.”

“Because I’m a mom. I get it.”

But I don’t. Not really. And I’m frustrated.

“No, it’s not that. I’ll fuck a MILF any day if she’s down for a casual fuck.” Before I can argue he pulls his hand from his hair and waves me off. “That’s not you. You aren’t a casual girl. Be honest, if things were different and Colt wouldn’t have died, you might have wanted more.”

I hate how right he is. I tried to talk to Colt at school a couple of times after we hooked up, and he fled. He wanted nothing to do with me, but I wanted to be around him.

Asher knows he’s right, and he nods, picking his fork back up and poking a piece of pancake. “That proves it wasn’t just a hookup. You aren’t fake or easy. You’re complicated, and that’s not a bad thing.”

I hate the words he’s saying, but mostly because I know deep down, he’s right.

“I don’t want a relationship. Not ever. And I can’t do that to you.” He doesn’t move the fork to his mouth. Instead he locks his eyes on me. “I don’t give a flying fuck about hurting Bianca or others like her. I’m an asshole like that, but you...” I watch him swallow and see the vulnerability in his eyes. “I won’t hurt you.”

“Because I’m Baz’s mom.”

“No, because you’re Viv.” He shrugs his large shoulders, and I watch his biceps flex with tension. “I don’t let people in as a rule. I hate getting close to people, but you snuck your way in over the past few years, and I care about you.”

Wow. I didn’t see that coming.

“I care about you too. And Baz loves you dearly.”

“I’ll always be his uncle, no matter what. But I don’t want to lose your friendship either.”

Damn it. I hate this charming asshole, but not really. I don’t think I could hate him if I tried.

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