Page 104 of Restrictions

“No. Sawyer has been good to me. He makes me laugh, and maybe he’s not the most serious guy, but I'm a little too serious at times. It’s kind of nice.”

She nods her head slowly, trying to follow me, but I can tell she thinks I'm not making good decisions. “That thing about him hooking up with sisters, that’s true, you know?”

I remember the rumors in school. “Everyone has a past. I’m not one to judge what others have done.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “I mean yeah, but... he is a player. I can’t picture him settling down either, Viv.”

I couldn’t either. But there was something in the way he kissed me last night... I’m not so sure. “We’re just getting to know each other at this point. And he’s great with Sebastian.”

“That I really can’t picture.”

I laugh. “It was the strangest thing. Baz is suspicious of almost everyone, but he took right to Sawyer.”

She smiles. “Well, he is an excellent judge of character.” She tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear. “You do whatever makes you happy. Go with your gut, and don’t let my brother make you feel guilty. You gave him his chance.”

My heart aches, thinking about that night and how badly I just wanted him to love me back. To try.

“I don’t want to make any more mistakes.”

She nods her head, only kindness in her eyes. “Believe me, I know that all too well. Not making mistakes is my forte. But I also have never gone after what I want.”

“That’s not true.” She looks confused, and I remind her. “Lola, you’re my hero. You wanted to make your own name, and you moved toCalifornia and started your own business, leaving behind everything you’ve ever known. You’re incredibly brave.”

She smiles, her chin lifting a little with pride. “That’s true.” Her voice softens. “But I meant with my heart.”

I’ve never known Lola to date. She’s never been in a serious relationship that I know of, and as we’re on this subject, I see the sadness in her eyes, beneath the surface. “There’s still time for that.”

She laughs as she stands up, taking her coffee cup to the sink. “Fuck that. I have a career and house I love. I’ll get a cat or two, and I'll be set.”

I laugh as I meet her at the sink. “Any guy,” I shrug my shoulders, not wanting to box her in, “or girl, would be lucky to have you.”

She laughs at that, and after I place my cup in the sink, she places her hands on my shoulders and looks me dead in the eyes. “If you want to date Sawyer. Date him. If you want to go on Tinder and have all kinds of crazy, safe sex, do it. Do what you want to. It’s not your job to pine after Asher until he pulls his head out of his ass and loves you back the way you deserve to be loved.”

“You’re full of good advice, you know that?”

She laughs, “It’s kind of my thing.” She drops her hands. “And... he will kill me, but I have to offer.”

I look at her curiously. “What?”

“If it’s too much being here with him, you and Baz can always come and stay with me until you figure things out.”

I stare at her, stunned, but I'm not sure why. She did the same thing for Penelope. “I can’t do that to Baz.”

“What? Let him live on the beach? Go to a private school in California and soak up the sun in his free time?”

I look out the window, the dull ache in my chest not going anywhere. “Take him away from Asher.”

She already knew that’s what I meant. “That part would suck. They love each other so much. But, Viv, if you’re not happy,... Baz is not happy.”

“I can’t do that.”

She nods. “Okay, but the offer is there. The rest of his family is there too.”

But the relationship he has with Baz . . .

I won’t do that. I can’t.

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