Except I don’t have any alternatives.
Fuck my life.
“I’m doing my best. I’m all they’ve got.”
“I’m not saying you’re not. But how long can you keep this up before one of them is hurt?”
“I appreciate the concern. It’s mine to handle. If you can’t watch Ash, I’ll get someone else.”
“Your heart is in the right place and for an outlaw, you’re not a bad guy. It’s only that no one would fault you for giving them both over to people who can provide them with what they need. I don’t mean to overstep.”
I glare back at her. “Well, you fucking are. They’ve got food, clothes, and shelter. They’ve got me and every motherfucker in this place who wears a Saint’s patch. No one is going to touch a hair on Ashely’s head or my little brothers. And if they do, I’ll take them out. One between the eyes.”
“I don’t doubt that. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” I mutter as she places Ash in my arms.
The door shuts and for the first time in what feels like days, it’s just Ash and me.
I stare into my brother’s eyes, searching for traces of our old man there and not finding him. All I see when I look at him is his cunt of a mother. Makes it hard not to hate the little bastard, butnone of this is his fault. He’s kind of ugly and wrinkly like an old man.
I snort and he gives me a sleep grin as his eyes flutter shut.
For a spell, I close my eyes too. I’m fucking bone tired. Someone always wants something. It ain’t easy being king around here.
What I need is sleep and to get laid. Neither of which is happening anytime soon.
Not when I’m getting up every two hours of the night to do diaper changes and feedings. My Pops was lucky that mother stuck around until I was out of diapers before she took off.
The sound of the door creaking open ends my rest.
I glance over to see Ashely standing in the open space. “What’s up?”
“I was just wondering…” she twists her fingers together. “What are we doing for dinner?”
“Guess you’ve not eaten since lunch, huh?”
She shakes her head, tucking her golden blonde hair behind her ear. In some ways, she resembles Shelby, but not by much. They had the same mother but different fathers. Their mother died in a boating accident a few years back and the whereabouts of her father remains to be seen.
Last I heard, he was doing time in Florida for an armed robbery.
“Let’s go out. You pick.”
“Okay.” She taps her chin. “How about The Salty Boot?”
“All right. Let me get Ash a bottle and pack his bag.”
“I can make his bottle. Candyce showed me how.”
“Cool. Thanks.”
“I enjoy helping. I don’t mind it. He is my nephew.”
“I’m glad you want to help. Fuck knows I need it, but I don’t want you thinking that he’s your responsibility. You should be focused on school and what was his name?”
“Jackson.”
“Yeah him.”