Lockout sighed and came down the stairs, ignoring the crashing sounds that came from upstairs. “Where the fuck did I go wrong?”
It seemed like more of a rhetorical question so not one of us answered it.
He glared at Toxic and Butcher. “I’ve only ever made two mistakes in my life.” The way he was looking at the guys told me that they were the mistakes.
Toxic grinned. “What were those, Prez?” He knew full well what Lock considered his mistakes.
“How is any of that our fault?” Butcher asked. “The dogs are Seek’s and the kids are Priest’s and Jenny’s.”
“The cat is hers,” Lock replied, pointing at me. “And she’s yours. Someone go make sure those kids don’t inadvertently hurt those animals. I’d never hear the end of it,” he muttered as he walked out the door.
“They wouldn’t hurt them. They love those dogs. And that damn cat,” Toxic said, but he headed for the stairs anyway.
I looked over at Butcher, who was still frowning at the door that Lock had disappeared through. “What?”
His eyes met mine. “Nothing. Come on, we need to finish packing up one of the trucks.”
“You’re going to make your lady pack up boxes?” Daryl asked. He shot Butcher a look of disgust.
Butcher just wrapped an arm around my shoulders and walked with me. Once we were outside he gave me a wide grin. “If you’re going to shoot the weapons, you’re going to help load them.”
I laughed. “You think I have a problem with that?”
“Naw, but I’m never going to hear the end of it from Daryl.” He walked over and waited until I took one end of the crate he’d bent down to grab.
“What’s in here?” I asked as we put it in the back of a pick-up truck.
“Rocket launcher.”
I looked over at him in surprise. “Where did you guys get that?”
He shrugged. “Under Gabby’s bed, probably.”
Looked like they were finally done fighting fair and were going all out for this. Before I’d thought that they were fighting with one hand behind their backs. Now I realized why. They were only willing to put themselves in danger. They’d ask for help if they really needed it, like having the Berserkers watch over their families, and the Saint’s Outlaws were going to send a few men with us to fight, but they tried their best to take care of their problems themselves.
Now that I was getting to know them, and their allies, I understood it. Their friends all had their own people depending on them, their own cities, friends, and families. None of these men would be able to live with themselves if they got their allies and friends killed while fighting a battle that wasn’t their own to fight.
How could you not respect that? I watched as Butcher, Lock, and a few of the other guys continued loading the vehicles. They’d decided against riding their motorcycles, though I knew that was hard for them, in order to keep a lower profile. These men took on the trash that threatened their city in order to protect the people who lived here and they didn’t ask for anything in return. My earlier realization hit me hard again. There was no reason for me to be fighting this. I loved Butcher. I loved his family. My ability to keep those emotions in check was long gone. I just didn’t know what to do about it.
I brushed my thoughts away and pitched in to help finish getting ready. There wasn’t time to contemplate what would happen once thiswas all over. All I could do was focus on the here and now. I needed to keep my head in the game so none of us ended up dead at the end of this fight.
CHAPTER 22
Butcher
Igrinned over at Isla as the women hugged her. Seek had her in a death grip at the moment and Isla had her arms stuck straight out like she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do in this situation. Catching her eyes, I motioned for her to wrap her arms around the other woman.
She glared at me, but did as I asked and I saw the exact moment when she relaxed into the hug. She was closed off and guarded and now I realized it was because the two women in her life who were supposed to love and protect her failed at their job. She’d never had anyone show her affection.
Even I’d had that. My mom wasn’t perfect, but she’d tried. So had I. It just wasn’t easy for either of us to show each other we cared, but we still tried. I’d had birthday cakes and presents as a kid. Christmas trees and Easter egg hunts. It was why I’d taken Toxic up on his suggestion of sending her money each month. It was my way of paying her backfor giving me a decent childhood. She could have easily been like Isla’s mother, or worse, her grandmother.
I didn’t have the full story yet, but I knew that tone. Had seen others go through their lives with no one plenty of times before. Shit, I’d been there for a while before Lockout came and dragged me into this family.
“Please be careful.”
Looking down, I smiled at the hellions. It was Taylor who’d spoken, but they all were on the verge of tears. They were damn perceptive, because no one had told any of the kids what was going down. Why the fuck would we put that kind of burden on children? But they knew. They felt the vibe around the clubhouse over the last few days.
I went down onto one knee so I was closer to eye level with them. “We’re just going for a little trip.”