Page 1 of Her Brutal First Love

Prologue

"Ido regret it, Nonna. Because I have come to realize that when you start with the wrong thing, everything else that follows is wrong. I should've just told her outright that I knew she was the one for me. And when it became clear to me, I should have also told her that I was in love with her. Had been so for a long time. And that she was the one who kept me sane until we were both saved."

Sarica was still listening to the footage and playing it back again and again when Potenziana returned to her study. While this did not surprise her, the knowledge did not keep her heart from breaking. They all missed Giancarlo. But Potenziana also knew their pain was only a fraction of what the girl felt.

"I think that's enough,bambina."

Giancarlo'sfidanzataonly stared at her as Potenziana reached for the laptop and folded it close. Her eyes were red and swollen, her nose running, and her hair looked as if it hadn't been washed for days.

"G-Giancarlo and I f-fought," Sarica suddenly choked out. "The d-day before he left. I asked him to let me go. I d-didn't want to listen to him, and nowh-he's..."

"Control yourself." Potenziana's tone was firm but not unkind. Her own painful mistakes throughout the years had taught the Boston matriarch when a certain toughness was required, for certain kinds of people.

"Your emotions will deceive you into thinking we are without hope."

And Sarica, for better or worse, had always been the type to respond more effectively to pragmatic commands than sympathy.

"But we know better than that."

Potenziana could already see Sarica determinedly battling against said emotions even before she finished speaking, and the way the younger woman wiped her tears with the back of her hand was both endearing and heartbreaking.

The poorbambinanever had a chance to be a child. Never knew it was to be loved by one's parent. And this was likely why Sarica had found it so hard to depend on anyone, not even Giancarlo, for comfort.

"Whenhe comes back," Potenziana stressed, "you can make it up to him.Wecan all make it up to him. Because you are not the only one with regrets. Giancarlo made it so easy for the entirefamigliato sit back and have him shoulder everything. We had all taken him for granted without knowing it. And as much as it pains me to say this..."

Potenziana's own voice cracked under the weight of her remorse.

"God had to take Giancarlo away for us to see the truth."

Sarica's shoulders shook as she began to weep. She covered her face, but it was not enough. The sound of her weeping was almost ugly in its rawness. And even when it was becoming impossible for her to breathe, and her chest felt as if it was about to explode—-

Sarica couldn't stop crying.

Couldn't stop hurting.

Couldn't stop begging and praying to God.

I'm so sorry.

So, so sorry.

Please give him back to me.

Please.

And I promise it won't be like before.

No more pride.

No more lies.

I will love him, the way I have always wanted to.

I will love him, the way You always wanted me to.

So please.

Please, God, please.

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