Page 6 of No Longer Safe

Chapter Four

Audrey

ConvincingBrian to do anything wasn’t possible. He was as stubborn as a mule. Not even Ace could convince him to go to the engagement party in a month. He had the audacity to even tell Ace he had more than enough money to take care of his own flight and hotel needs if he was going to attend but he had a big case coming up and it wasn’t looking promising. I had a feeling Ace didn’t exactly care for my boyfriend because he wasn’t upset when Brian gave him such a haughty response. Carina on the other hand? She was livid. She was ready to go toe to toe with him. Brian would need to do his best to stay away from both of them for the foreseeable future. I didn’t know what Ace was capable of but I wouldn’t put it past him to put Brian in a body bag if he was feeling some kind of way.

Maybe it was the money. Maybe it was his icy stare. He was nice enough but now things weren’t exactly adding up and I knew there was more to the old money than just old money. It was all too sketchy.

I eyed the panties and dresses on the bed. There were so many lacy pairs that never got to see the light of day… or night. Carina wanted to take me shopping but I told her there was no chance. But based on all the clothes spread out before me,she hadn’t cared to listen. I still couldn’t believe I agreed to a twenty thousand dollar payout to be her best friend through all this wedding stuff. I had all the plans to tell her no but then her mother called me and told me to take the money so it didn’t go to illegal activities and ya know what? She was probably right. I was probably saving someone and if not, I would be helping out the local economy when I got home. Mrs. Phipps told me to put it into savings for when Brian and I got married. She knew my parents. They sold everything to live in a camper on the Canadian-United States border and only came home for holidays.

Well, the last holiday they came home for was two years ago but the thought was there… somewhere. They called often, sent pictures entirely too regularly, and were enjoying their retirement life. I couldn’t blame them, everyone in town talked about how incredible it was to be an empty nester. But I couldn’t ask them to pay for a wedding that might take another five years.

Plus, I knew my brother’s wedding in Japan cost them entirely too much money. My brother was stationed in Japan when he met the love of his life. Unfortunately, as my mom said, they had champagne taste on a beer budget. They told me I needed to be there for my brother’s wedding and there was no way around it. They paid for my flight and hotel without even talking to me about it. I would have never accepted it if they’d tried to talk me into it beforehand. They never told me how much everything cost and I never asked, but I knew better. When it came to my own wedding and my own life… I wasn’t like my siblings. I could never ask something like that of them. I could never expect what the others did. That wasn’t me.

It didn’t help that my baby sister was in college and I was almost certain they were paying for her to go there too. Some days I wondered if that was why they sold everything to live in a camper. But I would never ask, it wasn’t my business and itwas their money to do with what they wanted to. I wouldn’t be the one to put more financial burden on them, especially when they were so excited I was getting serious with such asuccessfullawyer. I practically felt their relief over the phone that day. Too bad serious also meant stuck. It hadn’t ever gone past that. I shoved all the clothes off of the bed and buried my face in my hands. Maybe it wasn’t supposed to go past that.

I shook that thought away and stared at the expensive gowns piled on the wooden floorboards in my room. Carina wanted to take me shopping but I was feeling guilty enough about the massive amount of money that was wired into my account earlier this week. I also hadn’t told Brian I accepted, which left me with a tight chest and breathing issues. But it didn’t matter, Carina knew my size and sent me an entire wardrobe full of new gowns and what looked to be pant suits but I hadn’t tried a single item on.

There was no wrapping my head around this insanity. Not yet. Not when I hadn’t even dumped the news on Brian. Not when it didn’t even seem real yet. My phone buzzed against my leg and I quickly answered it.

“You didn’t talk to me about it and you just said yes.” Brian’s voice was soft which meant he was pissed. He never raised his voice at me. He never raised his voice at anyone. I was pretty sure he didn’t even know how to yell. I wasn’t sure if I liked that about him or not. It always made me feel uneasy and weird. On edge.

I guess Ace beat me to the punch. I ran my tongue over the front of my teeth and closed my eyes. “I was going to tell you.”

“But you weren’t going to discuss it with me?” The sound of his voice went up an octave and it almost excited me. Was he actually going to lose his cool over this? Did I like it that he was going to lose control for once? I decided then and there, on pins and needles, waiting for his response that I did like it. I didwant him to lose control. I wanted to see him fly off the handle over something silly. I wanted him to have some kind of passion because he had none. Not even in court. He was bland at best.

Bland Brian.

“No,” I started and I heard something crunch on the other end. My breathing picked up and I smiled to myself. Maybe this was the push he needed. “You’ve spent the last month holed up in your office. We haven’t seen each other, we haven’t slept together, and it’s like we’re strangers.”

The crunching on the other end of the line stopped. “Are you punishing me?”

“No, but I don’t see why I needed to discuss it. You don’t want to discuss marriage. You don’t want to go to New York for all the wedding festivities that I’ll be a part of and you haven’t told me you love me.”

There was a long pause before he let out a sigh. “What do you want from me?”

“A little effort.” Which, honestly, in the scheme of things wasn’t asking for much. Was it so hard for him to take an hour to go with me to Millie’s or for us to have dinner at his parent’s?

“I’m sorry,” His voice took on the eery calmness again and I found myself disappointed. I wanted him to yell. To fight. To do something. “I will try harder. As far as the money goes, if you were really struggling to pay your bills you could have asked me for help.” Yeah right. Then I’d hear some kind of rant about how to save my money and then I was sure he would sign us both up for Dave Ramsey stuff. He probably still would. “I would help you with anything you need. I got you to stop eating carbs, didn’t I?”

I cracked my neck. I’d seen his mother around town a lot more often, turns out she was reporting back to her son. How else would he know I cut out carbs? “It’s about being there for Carina and knowing that I can take care of myself. I don’t wantto have to ask anyone for money as I’m shopping in New York City and eating at fancy restaurants. I don’t want to be the poor friend.” I mean, I still was but I didn’t have to look it. “I won’t have to worry about the restaurants that his rich family picks out and I won’t have to worry about eating the cheapest thing on the menu and still not being able to afford it. I want to be there for her and not bring her any more stress. Plus,” I stopped for a breath. “You know how stubborn Mrs. Phipps is and if she took the money, then why can’t I?”

“Because you look like a gold digger.” His words were clipped, but not angry, definitely not assertive. Not passionate. Bland.

“Then I guess I’m a gold digger.” And I hung up on him.

Millie’s wasbusy as usual when I walked through the front glass doors and I decided that I was tired of not eating carbs and ordering burgers on lettuce. I backtracked right out of the entryway before I could be seated and marched right on down the road to Maria’s Mexican. I wanted a fat margarita and a huge bowl of queso. Screw the weight I would gain. Screw the judgment from Brian and screw anyone that had something negative to say.

I was on my second margarita andcompletelyfeeling it when Brian walked through the front doors. With the straw still between my lips and my head spinning, I tried to slide down in my booth to hide but I knew he’d already seen me through the front windows or he wouldn’t have shown up. I hadn’t told him my plans for the night which meant his mother reported back to him on my whereabouts. Small towns were the absolute worst. After all, she was sitting in the front booth at Millie’s when I decided I didn’t want to be there.

Brian’s brown hair was combed back and every hair was perfectly in place. His brown eyes looked tired and his suit was slightly wrinkled. There were slight bags under his eyes and his face was pale. An even sprinkling of fresh facial hair lined his jaw and cheeks. He slid into the booth across from me before he grabbed a chip and scooped up a healthy amount of queso and shoved it into his mouth.

“I see I hit a nerve with my comment about the carbs,” he eyed the two empty margarita glasses but he didn’t stop eating my queso. I fought to roll my eyes at him. He had some audacity to think I wanted to share. His suit was a little snug around the waist but I would never tell him something about it. His comments taught me enough about other people’s feelings and even though he did it to me, I could never do that to him.

In response, I shoved three chips in my mouth and shot him a glare as I washed it down with a chug of the margarita. I didn’t invite him to eat dinner with me. I didn’t exactly want him here but he was a sight for sore eyes. I’d been so desperate for some kind of connection with him that I asked him for phone sex the week prior. He was appalled that I would even suggest something like that with him at the office.

“I’m going to miss you while you’re in New York,” He reached across the table and I ignored his open palm. “I shouldn’t have kept myself in the office so much. That was wrong, but I guess I got a little obsessed with work. I’m trying to build a future for us and the only way I can successfully see us having and raising a family in this world is if I make more money and the only way I can do that in this small town is if I make partner. I thought you knew this.”

Yes, I knew this but he’d never laid it out like that for me before. In fact, he never really spoke about our future in such a way. Never about a family. Something inside of me perked up at the thought. Maybe he was making plans I didn’t know about.

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