Page 38 of Redeemed Wolf

I smiled sadly, feeling a small amount of relief, but he didn’t have the first clue about what I had to say. “You might change your mind before I’m done.” I braced myself, drawing strength from him, from the heat of his body along every inch we touched.

“I’ve never really talked to anybody about where I came from, about my past, but I need you to know it’s not that I don’t trust you. I do. It’s just… my dad, he… he was a mean son of a bitch. He was hardly ever home, but when he was, I’d wish he wasn’t. He’d knock me and my mom around, and in the town I grew up in, that kind of behavior was considered acceptable. Hell, it was applauded, and he was determined that I should grow up to be just like him, even if he had to beat it into me.”

Carter rubbed his hand up and down my arm, offering his silent comfort, allowing me to get it all out.

“One night when I was a teenager, he went too far and my mom…” I couldn’t say the words, as if not saying it would mean she were still alive. “And then after, he took his own life.” I felt cheated that he hadn’t let me have the honors.

“Oh, Silas, I’m so sorry,” he whispered, shaking his head, his face a mask of anguish. “I didn’t mean to push you to tell me. I had no right to—”

“No, it’s okay. It’s important that you know why I’m like this. I am careful about who I let in, I keep my emotions close to my chest. And I’m not a kid anymore. If someone tried to hurt thoseI love, I would do whatever it took to protect them.Anything. You understand?”

“Of course I do.”

Closing my eyes, I thought out each word before I said them. “I think there’s more going on at the lab than you think.”

I felt Carter stiffen next to me, and when he didn’t say anything, I opened my eyes and found him frowning up at me. “What are you talking about? What does this have to do with your past?”

“What do you think they’re studying there?” I asked.

“We’ve been working on a cure for the virus I’m infected with, so I don’t have to take any temporary treatments anymore.” I was already shaking my head, and his eyes followed the movement. “We’re not?”

I sighed, digging my fingers into my thighs. I watched the kids playing a game of tag, their squealing laughter soothing the jagged edges of my shredded nerves. “I don’t expect you to take my word over your father’s, and it wouldn’t be fair of me to put you in that position. All I’m asking is for you to take a step back and think things through for yourself. Think about why you’re being asked to work with the DNA from differentspecies. Where do you think he’s getting these samples from, and what does that have to do with what’s supposedly making you sick?”

His frown deepened. “What do you mean supposedly? I remember the pain so vividly, and I know it stopped when my dad started giving me medication for it.”

“But do you remember the cause of the pain?” I asked, coaxing him to dig deeper into his memories.

“Well, no, but… my dad said it was from the virus overwhelming my immune system. It was more than my body could handle.” He huffed, and I could sense that he was teetering on the edge of being overwhelmed. It wasn’t my goal to chasehim off. I couldn’t just give him all the answers; I needed him to come to the right conclusions himself.

“Carter, I’m asking you to follow your instincts, because nobody knows what you need more than you do. I have a feeling that they’ve been suppressed for so long that you don’t even trust your own feelings anymore. Am I right?”

“I—” His jaw clicked shut when he realized he couldn’t refute what I was suggesting. I’d seen the internal struggle every time his wolf had urged for something his human half deemed irrational. His wolf was in there somewhere—I just needed to find a way to get Carter to let him out, to accept who he was in his core.

“I think you know that the drugs he’s been giving you are what’s making you sick. They’re not good for you, and he is relying on the trust you have for him to keep taking the drugs. I just want you to feel better. Will you give me a few days? Please? I want you to try the herbs to help clear it out of your system, and if it doesn’t help, then you can go back to whatever medication he wants to give you next.”

It was torture to wait as he mulled it all over, but I sat as patiently as my wolf would allow, letting Carter think things through. I’d seen firsthand as an Alpha how people responded to being told what to do, what to think, what to be. So instead, we sat in silence. We sat on the bench long enough to watch the kids get picked up by their parents one by one, long enough that the sun dipped low behind the building, the air taking on a new chill that hadn’t been there while deep in the summer months. Fall was on our doorstep, and it felt like time was running out.

It was too early for him to know one way or the other, but I could scent the barest hint of a shift in hormones. Maybe it was just the drugs working their way out of his system. Or just maybe… Carter was pregnant.

I’d never let myself dream of being a father before, probably because my own father had been such a waste of space. It wasn’t like I had a great role model to look up to. My mother, though… she’d been love personified, her light snuffed out too soon. If I could be half the parent she was, I thought I’d be okay. And Carter, well… he would make the most amazing dad.

As long as he was okay with the truth of who he was.

Finally, Carter took a deep, shuddering breath then sat up, leaving the side of my body cold where he’d been pressed to me. He blinked a few times, looking around dazedly, as though just realizing how late it was. “Silas, will you take me home?” he asked softly, standing up.

“Of course.” I shoved down the regret and disappointment that he wanted to leave me, but I would respect his decision, even as every single cell in my body ached to stay near him. It was too much—Iwas too much for him. I started walking toward the apartment. “Let me just run in and get my keys.”

He stopped walking, and when I turned back to look at him, he was frowning. “What? No, not my house. I meant home with you.You’remy home.”

Hope soared inside me, and I nearly burst into tears. “Really? I thought you might be mad at me, that I was more effort than I was worth.” My chin dipped to my chest, feeling more vulnerable than I had in my life.

“I’m not mad, not even a little.” He stepped into my side and slipped his hand into mine, squeezing tight. “You said to listen to my instincts, and every single one of them says that you’re worth any effort. That you’re mine.”

One traitorous tear slipped free, rolling down my cheek, and Carter reached up to brush it away with his thumb.

“Does that mean you’ll give me a few days before you go back on the drugs?” I held my breath, waiting on the answer. Vesta’s herbs were safe for his pregnancy, but there was no guarantee onwhatever Eric was feeding him, and I sure as hell didn’t want the good doctor knowing about our child, either. There was no way to know what experiments he might perform on them.

“Yes, I think that’s a good idea,” Carter said. “I’m in no hurry for a repeat performance of how they made me feel. Now come on. Let’s go home—together—and you can make me some of that tea.”

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