Page 32 of Redeemed Wolf

I’m yours. Such a simple statement, just two words, but it hit me with the weight of a ten-ton truck running over my chest, then putting it in reverse and backing up to run over me a second time.

It was too much, too soon… right? There was no such thing as love at first sight. It was nothing more than a biochemical reaction, with pheromones and cortisol, dopamine, adrenaline, combining to create an addictive response, much like recreational drugs.

Silas was an addiction, and as much as I craved him, I had to keep my thoughts clear. I couldn’t allow myself to take another hit, or I might just lose myself.

Shoving my phone back in my pocket without answering his texts, I forced myself to stay focused on work. It was a fool’s errand, but I went through the motions anyway. Slide by slide, test by test, until it all blurred together. Sweat dripped down my spine, and my teeth ached from how hard I clenched my jaw. My breath sawed through my throat at my heart’s tight squeeze when I knew for certain that he was nearby. The flicker of movement I saw out in the hall through the windows as he walked by, his eyes burning holes in me, was enough to make my head spin.

I swore I could feel his frustration as keenly as if it were my own.

Second by second, the clock ticked off its countdown until lunch. At 11: 42 my dad came in, wearing a look of smug triumph. He held up a bottle of pills and gave them a shake. “Ta-da!” he said, brandishing them my way. “This should do the trick for you. Say goodbye to those nightmares.”

I took the plastic bottle from him and stared down at it. “Thanks, Dad.” I’d expected to feel more relief, but the voice in my head had turned into a feral snarl, desperately trying to get me back to Silas. A headache began to build as claws seemed to embed in the sides of my skull, an alarm warning me not to take those pills.

He stood there, waiting, as I thumbed off the cap and knocked one into my palm. They were a different color from the last ones, this capsule almost the exact shade of green of Silas’s eyes.

I hesitated. What was I doing?

You’re taking control of your life back, that’s what, I told myself firmly, forcing myself to bring the pill to my lips. Mythroat spasmed mid-swallow, as if my entire body were trying to rebel against the drug. What did it know that I didn’t?

Dad nodded, smiling. “Great. We’ll talk again tomorrow to see if it helped. Okay?”

“Right…”

Within ten minutes, my limbs started to tingle. The headache eased as the voice in my head faded.

Silas…

And then it was silent. I was alone.

I barely felt a tickling sensation as my face started to go numb, and I reached up and brushed my finger across my cheek, finding it wet with tears. This was what I’d wanted… wasn’t it?

Chapter 15

Silas

Where the fuck ishe?

I was standing outside beside my car, waiting. Carter had been avoiding me all day. I knew he was here, I’d seen him. After he hadn’t answered my texts, I’d found an excuse to head down the hall past the lab, to confirm with my own eyes that he was alive and well. His shoulders had gone stiff like he’d known I was there but refused to even look at me. It was no surprise when he didn’t show up for lunch; at that point I’d been expecting to be stood up. The question was… why?

Was what we’d done so bad? I’d helped him through his first heat, shown him every care. I’d been tender and mindful of his needs, provided everything he’d asked for. And between sessions, I’d cleaned him gently with a warm cloth, brought him food and water. I’d shown him more respect than I’d offered anyone in my life.

I clenched my fists hard enough that my knuckles cracked. Dammit, I was fuckingpissedat Carter. I wanted to grab himby the shoulders and give him a shake, demand that he open his damn eyes and see me for what I was to him, see everything we could be. If he didn’t want me, then he would have to tell me to my face. I just couldn’t believe he would turn away from our future! But more than that… I was terrified. What would Eric do if he found out we slept together? That we were mates?

Would he hurt Carter? Would he kill him? The possibility lanced itself through my chest like an icy spear.

Right when I was about to say fuck it and head back inside to tear the place apart to find him, consequences be damned, the door opened and out stumbled Carter. He was staring down at the pavement, not even looking up when I called his name.

He had to know I was here, but he didn’t even look my way. His movements were slow, sluggish, his feet dragging. “Carter!” I called again, stepping closer.

Carter seemed to have to fight to get his chin up, squinting as he tried to focus on me. His pupils were blown wide, and he blinked a few times, lost in a confused daze. “Silas? You’re…” He frowned, losing track of whatever he’d been about to say.

My nose scrunched up as his scent wafted off him. It was sour, nothing like the sweet aroma I’d breathed in just last night.

“Oh, baby, what happened to you?” I moaned miserably, reaching for him.

I’d half expected that he wouldn’t want me to touch him, after the way he’d run from my bed this morning, followed by a full day of avoidance. But instead of pulling away, he practically fell into me, clinging to my shirt. I wrapped my arms around him, doing my best to hold him upright, but his legs barely seemed capable of holding his weight.

“I can’t smell you anymore,” he mumbled, his lips moving against my throat as he took deep breaths, searching for something his body was no longer capable of finding.

---