Page 42 of Redeeming the Dragon

“I want both. That is the problem,” I mused aloud. “I want my family. I want my island. I want freedom. And I don’t want to lose whatever strange relationship I have with the dragon in his human form. That is impossible. I cannot have both. I cannot have it all.”

Discouraged, I rose and paced for a time, attempting to get my thoughts in order.

If I cannot have both, what do I do?

My mother’s advice rang in my ears. Her final admonition to carry through with my plans. Again, like the wind chimes under the eaves, the dragon’s warnings also rang in my mind. His inquiries on whether I’d disobeyed him. His caution that there would be grief if I listened to my mother.

Dear Light, what do I do?I begged, pausing a turn in the middle of the floor and pressing my palms to my eyes.Help me decide, because I truly do not know!

My torment lasted throughout the day. I ate little of the meals magically provided by invisible servants. I paced beyond the confines of my room, longing for the endless loops of shoreline on my island, where I could walk for a full two or three days before I’d come back to a starting point. I wished desperately that I was of such a stalwart heart that I could happily choose my family with no regrets about leaving the dragon behind.

And I realized, when I reached the end of pacing the stone tunnels, facing the thickest darkness where the boundaries of the cave would allow me to go no further, that it could never be. Nothing in life was ever chosen without regret. Were any choices untainted by “what if” or “suppose?”

Gazing into the shadowy border, I felt my resolve harden.

Perhaps I will miss the quiet little talks and how he holds my hand,I thought,yet I will not live as a prisoner. I will not live being told by magic that I can’t pass certain boundaries, any more than I will live on an island, told by the sea that I can go no further. On the island, I can take ship and go to another island. Or I can take ship and sail to the mainland, where I can explore to my heart’s content. Folk might advise against it, but there is nothing to truly stop me. Here, I am bound by the magic of the cave, as surely as a prisoner is bound by iron doors.

I will not live likethat.

I will heed my mother’s advice. I will discover what sort of creature holds both me and a corner of my heart captive. Maybe his strange power over me means that he is my mate, or maybe he lies and has bespelled me. Whatever the case, I will choose my own path. If I want to go home to my island, I will go there. If I choose to take a ship for the mainland of Aerisia, visit Laytrii and see the capital, or find a fairy vale and visit a fairy, I will do that. One thing I will not do is bow to the whim of fate.

I am Lorna of the Jeweled Isles, and Iwillchoose my destiny.

Settled, fully committed for the first time since I’d been wrenched from my former life, I spun about and marched back to my room. Consequences be hanged. My course was set. I would enact my mother’s plan and I would do it tonight.

May the Powers of Good be with me.

Chapter 26

Isewed until my dinner was delivered by unseen, magical servants. After eating, I went for a stroll, walking until the borders of light and darkness encompassed me, reaffirming my decision.

I would not spend my life as a prisoner in a cave.

I returned to my bedchamber, visited the washroom, cleaned up, put on a fresh nightdress, and went to bed. I tossed and turned for a bit, feigning getting comfortable for sleep, although I’d no intention of actually falling asleep. I merely pretended and I had to pretend well, or else the dragon-man would not come. He only appeared on the nights when I truly slumbered. To induce his visit, I did my best to lie very still, closing my eyes and regulating my breathing.

I suppose I performed the part admirably for, much to my consternation, I actually fell asleep. This had not been part of my scheme. Of all the things I’d not planned to do, sleeping was not on the list. However, it must have worked to my advantage, for the next thing I knew I roused, blinking swiftly, and knew straightway that I was not alone.

I also knew who was with me. The familiar scent. The familiar sound of his breath. The familiar—if odd—comfort in having him next to me.

“Dragon?” I whispered.

He did not waken.

I breathed out, steeling myself.

Time to enact my mother’s plan.

Time to enact my plan.

Time to go against every warning the dragon had offered. As if the wind chimes knew, or the magic of the cave sensed it and wished to warn me of my folly, I actually heard wind chimes. Ringing from the eaves under my cottage. I knew they must have come from the mirror, the gateway to my home. How had the magic known?

Lowering my eyelids, I breathed out.

Too late. Too late for warnings.

“Dragon?”

Once more I spoke to him, making certain he truly slept. In response, his breathing altered, grew short and choppy, then evened back out.

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