Page 19 of Thawed Gladiator Thrax

For a moment, he stands, while I remain sitting on the floor, our gazes locked in a silent stalemate. I open my mouth, ready to unleash another torrent of words just to keep our connection, but something in his expression stops me. Instead, I wait, my heart pounding, for him to make the next move.

Chapter Eighteen

Thrax

Stultus.How many times in one day do I have to be reminded of what a stupid ass I am? The thought loops endlessly in my mind as I stare down at Skye, her eyes wide with concern. Shame washes over me. This kind woman doesn’t deserve to be caught up in the mess that is my life.

“I’m sorry,” I manage to rasp out, extending my hand to help her up. She takes it, her fingers warm and soft against my calloused palm. Now what? I stand here, uncertain, feeling like an awkward statue in my own doorway.

“Can I come in?” Skye asks softly.

I nod, stepping aside to let her enter. Relief flashes across her face as she moves past me into the room. I settle on the edge of my bed, watching as she takes the chair nearby. The silence stretches between us, thick and uncomfortable as I avoid her gaze.

Skye fidgets, then takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to intrude. Dear God, Thrax, I don’t want to press. Lord knows, you’re entitled to your own thoughts and feelings.”

Right. I’m a free man, or so everyone tells me. How can I be free when I’m held prisoner by my past? By these thoughts circling my mind like hungry vultures?

“But I have to ask. Not everything. I mean, I don’t need to know everything, but I’m asking… well,beggingreally, for you to tell me what set you off. I don’t justwantto know, Thrax. Ineedto know. How can I be your friend when I’m terrified of saying something that sets you off? Just tell me that. Use as few words as possible, butpleasetell me.”

She’s spitting out words again. She tells me it happens when she’s worried. She’s worried about me.

I don’t want to talk right now, and the last thing I want is to talk about what set me off. But for Skye, I’ll do it. I don’t want to cause her another moment’s pain.

“Dr. Diaz wants me dead.” She said I didn’t have to explain things. She asked her question and I answered it. Now, I pray to Goddess Fortuna that we can put this to rest and never speak of it again. We can discuss Dr. Diaz, and I won’t have to divulge the memory that just barreled into my mind.

“What?I didn’t hear anything. What did she say? She was still halfway across the room?”

I breathe deeply, nostrils flaring as I wish I could go back to my habit of being silent.

“Pollice verso.She gave the thumbs up sign, the sign of death for a gladiator. It was made all the worse because I thought she was a good woman. Trust isn’t easy for me, but I was beginning to trust her.”

“Show me. Show me the sign.”

It’s unlike Skye to be so forceful, so demanding. I don’t want to even flash the sign toward her, not for a moment. It’s such a bad omen, a bad message. So hostile. I point it to the other side of the room, then allow my gaze to travel to her, hoping I didn’t offend her.

She looks… forlorn as she scoots her chair closer and, keeping her gaze on me, reaches slowly to grip my hand, the one that gave the sign.

“In our culture, we use this sign often.”

Every muscle in my body tightens as I doubt every word I’ve been told since I awoke in this forsaken place. They’ve told me I’m a free man, that I’m no longer a slave, and now Skye says their barbaric culture uses thepollice versooften?

“It’s called a thumbs up and it means a lot of things like ‘good job,’ and ‘way to go,’ and ‘congratulations on the promotion,’ and ‘wow! You’re going to have a baby.’ It means all things good. We thought we took the signal from ancient Rome, but… I guess we got it wrong.”

My mind is reeling at this. Would Skye lie to me?

“Dr. Diaz ran down the hall right after I did, worried about you. She likes you. It was a terrible misunderstanding, but I’ll make sure everyone is told what the thumbs up really means and never uses it again.”

I inspect her face. I may be a stupid man, but I learned how to read people’s faces during my years of training. I figured out that sometimes looking left means a man is going to lunge to his right. Or that a smile that doesn’t wrinkle the eyes can mean bad things are coming next. So I read Skye, because I’ve gotten to know her over the hours we’ve spent together.

She’s telling the truth.

“It sent me to a bad place inside my mind,” I admit, even though it feels like I’ve already revealed too much.

“I have no doubt.” As she squeezes my hand, I see tears glisten in her eyes. I’m unsure of many things about what’s happening between Skye and me, but one thing is certain—those tears are for me.

“How are youdoing now?”

I don’t know how I find the stupid courage to do it, but I give her a brave thumbs up. She gets my joke and hoots with laughter—perhaps a bit too loudly.

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