Page 34 of Watch Me

I hate to even think the answer. To speak it seems unbearably personal. Yet Alejandro poured out a part of his soul to me. He didn’t mock me when I told him about my mother, the rest of the family, or the reason for my ambitions. I have no reason to hide from him…except that he keeps slipping behind my emotional barriers, which scares the hell out of me.

Why can’t I put distance between us? Why do I even care about his feelings? Normally, I have no problem with pushing people away, but Alejandro is…different.

“I would feel like a failure,” I whisper.

“You would consider yourself a failure, even after everything you’ve achieved?”

“Probably. My family would think I’m a failure. I have one brother who’s been the top decathlete in the world. One played in the Super Bowl. Another who sprinted his way into record books. My father won two gold medals. I can’t compete.”

“Who asked you to?”

“You’d have to understand my family. For years, my brothers have endlessly tormented me.”

He shrugs. “The nature of men and their sisters. Their way of showing affection is to harass you. More manly than hugging.”

It isn’t that simple, and I don’t know how to explain it. “Family aside, I couldn’t give up dancing. I want to win, more than anything.”

“I wouldn’t suggest you give up dance. I merely think you should take the floor to indulge your joy, not to pursue a trophy. The journey is the treasure, not the prize at the end.”

“Now you're a philosopher?”

Alejandro shakes his head and places a soft kiss against my ice-cream-cold lips. “Just a man who wants to see you smile. Will you?”

He’s so comfortable with himself. Somehow wiser than a man who runs a club for sexual indulgences should be. He makes everything seem so easy. Even personal discussions, which I usually loathe, feel freakishly natural. No pressure. No scolding or telling me how to do things. No taunting me about my failures. Just a steady voice, a tender touch, with lots of insight.

Lovely…but none of that will put a trophy in my hand.

I wrap my fingers around his and smile. “There. Are you happy?”

“I’ve seen more genuine smiles on a politician.”

Sighing, I sit back and lick at my cone. “Why does it matter to you if I’m happy?”

Alejandro pauses, seeming to weigh his words. “You matter. I would hate to see you sacrifice everything for something that may never happen. You gave up frivolities, friendships, and romances for a hunk of metal and a title.”

He’s right…and wrong. Being a champion is everything to me.

“This is why I don’t date.” I get to my feet. “I don’t expect you to understand. No one does.”

He stands and meets my glare. “You’ve ended more than one dance partnership to pursue winning over valuing therelationship. What has that gotten you except a bad reputation? Those partners invested in you, cared about you. You cast them aside.”

“I had to! One was so injured, it was clear he was never coming back.”

“Would he have tried harder to recover if you had given him both a reason and a partner to return to?”

Guilt slices through me. Maybe. Likely not…but maybe. Curt was a hard worker and possessed the drive to win. Last I heard, he was selling insurance.

“Martin dropped me in competition. I couldn’t risk it happening again. I lost faith in his ability, and a couple without trust can't function.”

“The drop must have been painful, and I understand why you wouldn't want to partner with someone ill-equipped for the job. But as you say, trust is essential. After nearly two years together, you never gave him a chance to rebuild it between you.”

“What are you, my dance pimp? And before you start in on Jonathan, that decision was mutual. He wanted to get married more than he wanted to dance.”

Surprise flashes across his dark face. “Really? My mother will be happy to hear that. She hates you because you ran off her favorite.”

I sit again. “Ugh! Everyone thinks that. We…just knew it was time to move on, both of us.”

Speculation crosses Alejandro’s face, but he doesn’t ask if I slept with Jonathan. For that, I’m eternally grateful. “And now, you have issues with Kristoff. What will you do if we don’t find our blackmailer in time?”

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