Page 117 of Of Blood & Stone

Elnok squeezed her hand tight, her chest convulsing again as he felt a hot tear fall onto his forehead.

“Don’t let the Dynameis find you,” he said.

“Elnok.”

“You know, all I used to want was to survive. I played it safe after I left Vutror, hiding in the shadows, masking myself behind aliases; a life unnoticed. And while Estea is where it’ll end for me, I’m glad I did it.” Elnok gulped as his voice threatened to fail, “I’m glad to have done something for once in my life, and I’m glad I met you.”

Her hands began to shake. He stayed steady, slowly rubbing his thumb across the soft skin on her knuckles, an ache ripping deep in his chest as he did.

“You’re going to live,” she said breathlessly into his ear, “I’m going to make sure of it.”

He ignored her pleas, because she knew just as well as he did that this was the end for him.

“I need you to get the medicine to Orym,” he said as he traced his hand up her forearm, her skin shivering from his touch, “In a world full of selfish people like myself, it’s people like Orym who deserve to live another day.”

Sylzenya wiped loose pieces of hair out of his face.

“Do it yourself,” she whispered.

He scoffed. “I’m dying and giving you my last wishes. That’s what needs to happen in times like this?—”

“No, I need you to stop talking and listen tome,” she retorted, her lips brushing his ear, “Do you know the one thing that’s harder than dying?”

She waited in silence.

“What?” he asked.

“Living,” she said, “living is much harder, and I need you to choose to do the harder thing right now.”

Elnok’s lip quivered. “It’s poison, Syl. It’s not that I want to die.”

“Then stop talking like you’re giving up.”

“I’m not giving up, I’m being realistic.”

“You’re being a coward.”

“Forfuck’ssake,” Elnok grunted, a cough laboring out of his chest. “I’m just a thief. A low life who steals from others to get what he wants. I’ve always been a coward.”

“No,” Sylzenya replied, leaning back, “No one is ever that simple, not even you. You came all this way to save your friend, knowing this kingdom had its secrets. You crossed Lhaal Forest and didn’t turn back despite its dangers. You risked telling me your plans so you could save your friend, knowing I might betray you.” She paused. “So don’t tell me you’re selfish or a coward, Elnok Rogdul. You’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.”

His heart leapt into his throat.

“But I swear to the gods, if you decide now of all times to be one, I’ll strangle you myself.”

A choked laugh left his mouth. “Will you now?”

“Yes, I will. So stop talking and focus on your breathing while I come up with a plan.”

Elnok fought every screaming muscle in his body as he lifted his head, gripping her face in between his hands as he brushed her hair behind her ears, whispering her name softly. Her nose brushed along his before she placed her chilled forehead against his own.

Elnok couldn’t find words, so he brought his lips to hers instead.

Her mouth was cold, but it was more likely he was feverishly warm. Her tongue found his—the only part of him that hadn’t turned completely numb yet—causing his body to shiver. This was nothing like the time in the inn. That had been all fire and heat and want. This was yearning and sorrow, shared tears dripping into their open mouths, tasting of salt.

Her silent sobs echoed into his chest. He pulled her closer, refusing to let this final moment with her end. Combing his fingers through her hair, he wondered what it would’ve been like to take her on a ship and journey through Druenia with her by his side; to hear her laugh around the nightly fires and have her share her own stories alongside his crew. And then, once the embers died out, he’d take her into their bed, and he’d taste her until her sweet whimpers sent him to a blissful sleep.

He wanted to live a life with her.Damn it, he really did, didn’t he? He wanted it more than anything in his short, sad life.

---