Page 93 of Shark Bait

I didn’t. I didn’t think he’d come here. Ever.

I tried to do what Alessio said and deleted Shark from my memories, but then our baby was born and I was going to name her Lynn Montgomery, but when they asked me what her name was, I said Miralynn. It felt so right that I couldn’t change it.

My mom gets up and leans over the bed, a concerned expression on her face. She asks if I’m okay. The nurse also asks if I’m okay, and I tell them both I’m fine. I tell them everything is great, while extending my hand toward the nurse, asking her through my tears to give me the shark toy.

She drops the plush toy in my palm, and I close my fist over it, then continue to feed my baby. She’s fallen asleep on my breast. I can’t stop crying, but luckily, everyone thinks it’s hormones.

It’s nearly nine at night when Mom, Dad, and pretty much everyone I’ve ever known from our town leaves the hospital room and I have some time to myself. I finally use the bathroom. It’s a painful experience, and if I could have avoided it, I would have.

Now I stand in front of the mirror, brushing my teeth and trying to figure out how I’ll style my hair. Maybe leave it down since my hair is lush and full like never before. I brush it well and fluff it up with my fingers, then apply some mascara and the sour-apple lip gloss I found by scouring every major retailer in the country.

I pinch my cheeks to make them rosier and slowly walk back and climb into the bed. Then I wait. I try to read my book but can’t because I’m so distracted thinking about seeing Shark again. I missed him so much. I just want to hug him and smell him and kiss him. But most of all, I want to tell him I love him and ask him if there’s any way we can be together. Any way at all.

Because the truth is I’m failing at integrating back into my life here when he’s my whole life. I can’t breathe here when myheart’s wherever he is, hunting down men on the list of names Alessio made from the information I provided him.

The next thing I know, the night nurse is trying to wake me up to feed the baby. I fell asleep. Damn it!

Groggy, half asleep, and in pain from the episiotomy, I ask for pain meds. When she brings the cup with pills in it, she sets it on the nightstand near me. I look closely and, in the dim light, spot a lollipop beside the cup of meds.

The nurse leaves, and once I finish feeding Miralynn, I unwrap the lollipop and suck on it. Strawberry-melon flavor. I stay awake for two hours, waiting for Shark to return.

I feed the baby again, and I have to say, breastfeeding makes my breasts hurt. But the baby seems happy to latch on, sucking for five seconds and falling asleep with her mouth still open. I hold her in my arms, sleeping like that, while I wait for her daddy.

He never comes.

THIRTY-FOUR

GIVING THANKS

TROY

Denver is hosting Thanksgiving, which means he’s having the meal catered by a newly opened restaurant in Tennessee. My aunt Emmy Sue and Mom are in the kitchen on their phones and their third glass of wine, watching vanilla snippets of Denver’s latest celebrity porn video playing on every social media channel we turn to.

Remember the girl he brought here Thanksgiving some years ago who I didn’t like? Yeah, that one. She posted their private videos on a porn site, likely because she already got money for giving up pictures of her and my brother when they dated back in the day. Now my brother’s videos from when they dated in their twenties are all over the internet. Most of them are not decent.

Denver’s marketing team is working on taking down the main video from today, but that’s all they can do for now. Since my best friend, Amy, told me she downloaded it and watched it more than twice, I know many others have too, so the video might resurface again.

Denver’s handling the fame as best as he knows how, and hopefully, next year, the craze and novelty of it will get easier on him. Levi has taken over as the spokesman for the band.With honey-brown eyes and long, light-brown hair that looks naturally highlighted, Levi shines in the spotlight. Maybe by looking at Levi, their fans will forget Denver exists.

I’m sitting behind the kitchen counter, feeding Mira under a blanket and flipping through my e-reader searching for my next Mafia romance fix, when Mira stops suckling. I peek under the blanket to see her little mouth open and eyes closed.

Slowly, I move from the kitchen and into her bedroom, which used to be Denver and Levi’s old room. I put her down in her pink cot, then place the stupid toy shark near her because if I don’t, I feel like I’m robbing my baby of the presence of a man who cared enough about her to come visit her when she was born.

There are dads out there who never see their biological children. There are also moms who never do too. Shark has no obligation toward this little girl, but I love that he’s thought about her enough to come and see her. If I can’t have him in my life, at least I know he truly cared about her and me during the time we were together.

Maybe some people will find it’s wrong of me to hide the truth from her. And that’s okay. People can judge all they like. I think what I’m choosing with her and how I’m choosing to raise her is right. And you know what they say about mothers?

We know what’s best for us and our family.

I close Mira’s bedroom and enter the kitchen again to find my mom on the phone with one of my brothers. Her ear-to-ear smile tells me it’s probably Denver, and he’s calling to tell Mom he’s bringing over a girl.

“Sure, son, bring her, bring her. I can’t wait to meet her.” Mom hangs up and exchanges knowing looks with Aunt Emmy Sue.

I roll my eyes. “Mom, I can’t believe you’re okay with him bringing another girl over when the one he used to bring over is causing him problems.”

“This one seems special.”

“We’re hoping for a wedding,” Emmy Sue says.

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