Page 88 of Fall Wherever They May

“You trust me to walk away like everyone else. You trust that I’ll abandon you and Tuck, that I’ll leave you both heartbroken.”

I stand and close the gap between us, so he can look me in the eyes when he breaks my heart. “Isn’t that what you’re doing? You’re leaving us, right? Going to explore some new team?”

He sighs in exasperation and removes a strand of hair from my face. “You really think that after everything we’ve been through, after I’ve poured my soul out to you and given you my whole heart, that I would leave you? That I could leave you?”

I bury my head in his chest and cry. “They said you were exploring free agency. That means changing teams.”

“I know what free agency means.” He tilts my chin up. “Look at me.” He thumbs my tears, wiping them away. “I love you. I am never leaving you. Now, will you please just give me the chance to explain everything?” Taking my hand in his, he leads me to the foot of the bed, sits, then pulls me down to sit inhis lap. “I never had intentions of going to another team, but my plan to retire at the end of this season is a different story.” He rubs slow circles on my back. “As for the rumors and the media, I was speaking to my agent, Nate, who also happens to be an old buddy from college. We were catching up, you know? Shooting the shit. I assumed he was alone when he had me on speaker. Apparently, he had a girl from one of his clubs at the office doing God knows what, and—”

I put my hand up. “What kind of club?”

Cal stares at me. I tilt my head to the side, studying him with a frown. He tilts his head back as to say,You know what kind of club.

Surely, he doesn’t mean what I think he means. My eyes widen in disbelief. “Noooo. No way. I thought those only existed in books.”

“Yes, they’re very real.” He chuckles. “Nate owns three of them. One in New York, one in South Florida, and another one in Las Vegas. He spends most of his evenings at the one in Las Vegas where he lives.”

“Aren’t they illegal?”

“No, darlin’, you ain’t in Oklahoma anymore,” he says in the most exaggerated southern accent.

I snort a laugh. “First of all, that is not how I talk. Thank you very much. And second, that’s . . . wow . . . that’s actually kinda hot, if I’m being honest.” I fan my face.

“Can we get back on track here? As I was saying, she heard the conversation and ran to the media.”

“And there’s nothing we can do about it?”

“Nate is handling it. Well, I told him to handle it, or I’m firing his ass, but since I’m leaving the league anyway, I guess that threat doesn’t hold any real weight.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were thinking about retiring?”

“I was going to tell you tonight when we were alone, but then the damn media ruined all my plans.” Cal’s fingertips feather across my skin as I stare at the different colored blue patterns on the painting hanging on the wall. “For so long, the most important thing to me was hockey. Deep down in my soul, I believed if I didn’t win a Stanley Cup, then Paisley died in vain. So, I worked my ass off day in and day out to be the best hockey player in the league.” He releases a deep breath. “I can’t continue to put that on myself, and I don’t want to. Don’t get me wrong; I still love the game, but up until recently, I was obsessed with the sport.” His fingers tangle with mine. “But now I have a new obsession.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” His eyes slowly move up to meet mine. “I spent so long hiding from the world that now all I want is to be present in it, to experience everything life has to offer; I want to do that with you by my side.”

I twist my lips deep in thought. “I think we need therapy.”

“I think you might be right.” He laughs, “Will your new sports psychologist see me after I retire?”

I lift my head and stare at him in wonder. “You would do that? You would go to therapy?”

“We’re a team, Firecracker.” He presses his forehead against mine. “Which means we do what’s best for each other. If that means we need therapy, then we’ll do it together. I’ll always do what I think is best for you. That’s one of the other reasons why I decided this season would be my last.”

I pull back from him, running my hand down his cheek. His stubble prickles against my palm. “If we’re a team, that means we can’t just make life-changing decisions without talking it out first. I don’t know what gave you the inclination that I’d want you to retire.”

“It's not that I thought you wanted that from me; it’s what I thought you needed.”

“Well, I don’t need that. What I want and need more than anything is a life with you.” I take a deep breath, working up the courage to tell Cal something I’ve been keeping from him. “I haven’t been one hundred percent transparent with you either.” I bite my bottom lip nervously.He needs to know, Aspen; just spit it out.“I’m not actually the owner of the team.”

Cal’s brows furrow in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Tucker actually owns the team. I have custodianship until he completes college. I've been allowing everyone to believe I'm the owner to protect him. I can’t sell off the organization or walk away without it messing with someone’s life. My son and my players’ livelihoods are literally in the palm of my hand.”

I sigh and continue. “The only person who has the authority to sell the organization for a profit is Tucker, and that’s not until he’s twenty-five. The will basically states: If one of us decides we don’t want to run the organization between now and then, all assets of the organization will be sold, and all profits will be donated to a pre-designated charity of my father’s choice. If I don’t run this team for Tucker until he graduates college, he will lose his legacy and part of his inheritance, and my players will lose their jobs. Was it a manipulation tactic on my father’s part?Abso-fucking-lutely. I’m always going to pick Tucker over myself, and he must have known that. I guess what I’m saying is if you’re in this for good, you’re going to be tied down here.”

Cal doesn’t think twice about what I just said. He doesn’t rear back his head or make a face. He simply kisses me. “I love you.” He says against my lips. “The way you put Tuck above yourself and everything else. He’s very fortunate to have you as his mom.”

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