Page 44 of Fall Wherever They May

This woman amazes me every time she opens her mouth. She can be so playful one minute, then philosophical and deep the next. Every moment spent together, I find myself falling a little deeper.

“Perhaps,” I say, truly meaning it. “Who knows? And whatever the universe has in store for us, I have to believe there’s a reason for it; otherwise, what’s the point, right?”

The conversation has me reflecting on my own life and the things that have happened to me. What was the purpose of it all? Everything is too painful to even think about, and it makes me wonder why life is so cruel. Like, why hand me somethingjust to snatch it away? Aspen’s voice pulls me from my thoughts before they spiral and put me in a somber mood.

She sits up and pulls the blanket from around her shoulders, then covers us both up with it. Placing both hands under her cheek, she settles back in, lying sideways to face me again. “I don’t know what happened between us last night, but Cal, you’re quickly becoming one of my closest friends. I’m sorry I acted like a jealous girlfriend. I don’t want to lose your friendship because I was being an idiot.”

I tuck a piece of loose hair behind her ear. “Me too. I don’t know what got into me. Well, I do know . . . it was the alcohol, but that’s no excuse. I made an ass out of myself. I don’t want to lose you either.”

I was a complete jerk, I know. All these feelings are so foreign to me; I don’t know how to act or what to say. She makes me feel, and it’s fucking terrifying, but the thought of Aspen and Tuck not being in my life is unfathomable. “I want you to know I’m not going anywhere. I know those are just words to you right now, but it’s something I will prove to you and to Tuck.”

I awake with Aspen wrapped tight in my arms; the crisp autumn morning air kisses our skin. The emotional weekend must have drained our bodies because we crashed on the lounger together. I haven’t slept that well in what seems like forever.My arm is numb as hell; the lounger is cutting into my hip, and even though there’s a chill in the air, the sun beats down on one of my legs sticking out from the blanket. But that’snot what wakes me. No, it’s the shadow looming over my face. I crack open an eye to find River standing directly above us, her heart-shaped face peering down into mine, and her long blonde hair tickling my nose. Laughter spills from her lips as she straightens up and allows sunlight to hit me right in the face. The bright, beaming rays of light feel like fire has been set to my retinas, and it causes me to squint. I quickly jerk my hand up to shield my eyes.

With one quirked eyebrow, River greets me, “Good morning, Frat boy. Don’t you have a practice to get to? It’s already seven thirty in the morning, and the boss lady is going to be late for work.”

I reach over and cover my watch with my hand to check the time as Aspen stirs. “Time to get up, Firecracker,” I whisper in her ear as I gently run the back of my hand down her arm.

“Mmm. No! You’re so comfy and warm,” she muffles, burrowing deeper into my chest, drawing a chuckle out of me.

“Come on, we have work,” I try again, nudging her.

Aspen springs up, almost knocking me in the face. She looks around for a few seconds. “Oh my god! Tucker!” She panics, but then she spots River and plops her head back down on my arm, sending thousands of needles prickling down it. She groans and covers her eyes with the crook of her elbow.

River gives Aspen’s foot a hard shake. “Tucker is dressed and fed. I’ll run him to school, but you need to get up, Sweet Cheeks. The boss is going to be mad if we’re late.”

Aspen sits up and swings her legs over the side of the oversized lounger. “I am the boss, but fine!” She huffs and stands, holding out a hand to help me up. I grab her hand and playfully pull her back down, causing a giggle to burst out of her. She makes another attempt and successfully makes it back to her feet.

“Can you give us a sec?” She asks River.

River turns around and moseys her way toward the side of the house, throwing up a peace sign. “Deuces,” she calls out, “Oh, coffee is made, grumpy ass. I’ll see you at work.”

Aspen attempts to help me up again. “Not much of a morning person, I see,” I say to her.

Without a word, she gives an exaggerated shrug of one shoulder, then trails after me into the house.

Once we’re inside, I wrap her up in a tight hug, resting my cheek on the top of her head; the scent of her floral perfume fills my senses. She smells incredible. I press my lips to her hair.I want to go back and tell her that she’s been taking over my thoughts. I want to tell her that I want to be with her. But I can’t, so instead I settle on, “Thank you for last night.”

She squeezes me. And God, does her body feel right against mine. “That’s what friends are for.” She releases me. “You know . . . I was thinking,” she adds, opening the front door and looking back at me.

I cast her a smirk.

She looks at me with so much vulnerability. “I never in a million years thought I would say this, but I think we’re best friends now.”

I place my hands in my pockets. “Yeah, we’re the best of friends.” My voice is thick with emotion. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. How can I feel so deeply about someone other than my wife? Shame washes over me, but I smile at her to mask the emotion.

“Thank you for last night. See you at work,bestie.” She responds, walking out, letting the door close softly behind her.

I groan and rub my hands down my face. I’m truly and utterly fucked.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Aspen

Two weeks until Christmas and I have yet to do any Christmas shopping. Procrastination isn’t my thing. I usually tackle my shopping in November, but between Tucker’s practices and games, work, and pro games, finding time to do anything for myself is fleeting. I consider ordering presents online, but there’s just something about browsing the little shops and finding personal gifts while sipping on a coffee that feeds my soul. I want to experience the spirit of Christmas in New York; not doing so seems like such a shame. There’s something so nostalgic about the smell of Christmas: roasted pecan booths, cinnamon wafting through the air, and fresh-cut Christmas trees.

I think of Cal and wonder what his plans are. My thoughts seem to constantly revolve around him lately. I wonder who he will spend Christmas with or if he will be alone. We all spent Thanksgiving at my house, and not once did he bring up his family. I can just envision Cal sitting alone on his comfy, cream-colored couch, with a football game playing on the television. No tree. No presents. No family. No joy. The visionof him not celebrating with anyone is sad and pulls on my heartstrings.

Hannah strolls into my office with her laptop in hand, breaking me out of the depressing thought. “Are you ready for the meeting?”

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