Page 33 of Blood & Ice

Knox’s face scrunched into unhappy lines at the mention of the goddess. He actually spat on the ground near the door. The ebony floorboards sizzled at the heat of his displeasure. He gave me a hard, almost disgusted look.

“Why invoke her? I know you don’t believe in her.”

“I don’t worship her,” I said quietly. “Not unless a ritual calls for it. I have the same view on the goddess that I have about my mother.”

“Which is?” he asked, one brow arched.

“That she exists. And that she also doesn’t give a damn aboutme. I’m pretty sure she abandoned me the same time Tabitha did.”

I had to think of my mother as Tabitha most days. Because if I thought of her asMom,it hurt more. Her absence was like a sore tooth. I could ignore it most days until the pain became sharp and immediate. Sometimes it made me its bitch, but the self-pity had become less common of late. There were people in the Hollow who loved me. Not many, granted, but that was an improvement from five years ago.

Knox’s laugh was an echo from the past. It had been my laugh once upon a time. Cynical. Hollow. Full of seething anger. I hadn’t realized it had changed.

“We have that in common, dear boy.”

“We have nothing in common.”

He shook his head. “No, I do know something about being abandoned by your creator.”

I didn’t want to believe him. If he was a creation of the goddess, just like me, it meant something. I wasn’t sure what. Change, for sure. Wars, maybe. Our people had fought over less.

“Is that why you hate her?”

The smirk crept like an unabashed intruder onto his stolen face. “It’s part of the reason. As to your aunt…”

“Celestine.”

“Yes—I’m tempted to do away with her before my time is up.”

As much as I hated my aunt and blamed her for what had happened to me, I didn’t want her dead. “Don’t kill her.”

Knox tilted his head to the side. Past how far my neck should have been able to go. Not that logic mattered in this mindscape. The mortal mind was as malleable as clay. As fragile, too. If you messed with it too much, the structure fell apart. It was why so many humans went crazy during or after a possession. Too much strain, not enough mental defenses.

“Why should I not kill her?” Knox asked. “You hate her. She tried to have you killed. Worse, she tried to have yoursisterkilled, which you count as a greater sin.” He paused and inspected his fingernails—my fingernails. “I was happy to see Astrid join my brood. It makes things easier. Again, not the vessel I’d normally choose, but any port in a storm.”

The thought of any part of this creature creeping in to smother the life from my sister was unbearable. I’d crossed the room before Knox could blink. His nose... my nose...ournose made a satisfying crunch beneath my fist. Blood fountained out, bubbling over his lips. If it bothered the bastard, he didn’t let it show. He licked the blood from his lips delicately, as though savoring the taste. It didn’t seem to matter the source. He just wanted blood.

“If you touch her, I will fucking kill you!” I raged at him.

“We’ll see,” he said with a grin as he tilted his head again, then his expression brightened. “Ah, finally. She’s let the leash go slack.”

“What are you talking about?”

He shook his head like he didn’t have time to explain. “Come with me, boy. You’ll get the answers you’re looking for.”

He stepped away from the door with a flourish before offering me a hand. My skin looked pale. Bloodless. Dead. This was the closest I ever wanted to be to the reality of what I’d look like as a leech. The door swung open of its own accord, and only blackness showed beyond. For once, I didn’t want to go through. I was afraid of what I might see.

But that didn’t matter. I had a family to save.

I took Knox’s hand, vanishing into the blackness behind him.

Chapter Nineteen

Maverick

I woke with my face in a pile of paperwork.

For a second that felt like longer, I swore there were bugs crawling all over me. The instant in darkness had felt foul. Profane. My...everythingfelt scraped raw by whatever void Knox had pulled us through. I never wanted to pass through it again but knew, in some portion of my mind, that I’d have to bear it again. I’d promised Knox a day. Making oaths to the goddess was serious business. All things being equal, I assumed promising things to the god was just as binding. There were very few lines I wouldn’t cross to save the people I cared about.