Page 94 of Encounter

“Look.” Grabbing my hand, Kevin used the other one to point at the people around us. “Nobody cares about you, or us.”

With my cheeks burning, I turned around, observing the dozens of faces flashing by, changing, laughing. He was right—no one paid attention. The tension in my stomach eased, and I let out a deep breath.

Smiling, I turned to Kevin, who gave me an assuring nod and let go of my hand. I glanced at the spot he touched and then back at him. Was he so drunk he didn’t know what he was doing? It almost seemed like—

His hands softly wrapped around my neck. As I looked up, Kevin’s focused, narrowed eyes moved closer to me, until everything went black as I closed mine with the impact of his tender, hesitant kiss.

Wait, what? Is this really happening?

Not knowing why or how, his kisses became deeper and more daring, and I didn’t do anything to stop him. Awkwardly holding my hands over his hips, I let him lean into me, let him hold my head like I was his, and allowed his tongue to wrap around mine.

Closing my eyes, I instinctively pressed my pelvis to him, drawing out a muffled groan out of him. It all felt so good and hot and... easy.

I’ve wanted this. I’ve wanted this so bad, only... not with Kevin.

Gasping, I slipped out of his hold and blinked at him in shock. He stepped away and the moment he saw my expression, he covered his face and laughed bitterly.

“I’m sorry, if— I—” I blurted out before he could say something or jump into conclusions.

“N-No, no,I’msorry,” he said, lifting his hands. “I... got the wrong vibe and just—”

“You didn’t,” I interrupted him, panicked and a little shaky. I didn’t even know why I said it, or how it came out of my mouth so easily. “It’s just— I’m seeing someone. K-kind of, I mean... I should’ve stopped you earlier. But it’s fine!”

Iwassurprised he knew, or sensed it, but at that moment, I was mesmerized by the realization that someone like him would’ve been interested—and actually made a move on me.

That would be the second time someone did that.

My whole life, I felt sorry for myself for not being good looking enough, for not having anyone interested in me... Was that conviction the real cause of it? Was I, who constantly turned everything and everyone down and hid at home, the reason?

“God,” Kevin moaned, still hiding his face and swaying from side to side like he wanted to disappear. “Fuck.”

When he finally mustered up the strength to face me again, I gave him a friendly, apologetic smile. “It’s fine, really, I-I’m flattered,” I assured him. “You’re drunk. We’re both drunk. It’s okay.” Looking back, all those smiles, glances and gentle gestures really were screaming he was interested in me, only my dumb ass was too closed off to the very possibility, thinking he was just friendly.

“This is the worst,” he laughed. “I guess I reallyamgay.” Letting out a deep sigh, he tilted his head back while I widened my eyes.

Oh my god, was I his first?!“Am I— Have you never kissed a guy before?!” Those words fell out of my mouth with no regard to how nerve-wracking it all must have been for Kevin. Seeing his distraught face, I grabbed him by the shoulder and dragged him off the dance floor and toward the bathrooms. I could barely hear my own thoughts, and I wasn’t going to let him wander off, and for both of us to torture ourselves with the memory of that disastrous moment.

We finally got to the long hallway leading to the toilets, where the music was a little muted, and people were scarcer.

“Th— This is completely my fault!” I started mumbling while Kevin leaned against the wall. “I’m just... clueless, when it comes to these things! I had no idea, I’msosorry. I’m sorry to have ruined this for you, your first time realizing, I wish I could’ve—”

“Gale,” he said, shaking his head with a chuckle. “I’m fine, really.” Judging by his face, he was now more amused by all of it, rather than mortified. I stared at him, mouth half open, unsure how to react. I was always somewhat aware I liked boys and men, so I couldn’t imagine how this felt for Kevin, to finally get the courage to be brave and true with himself, only for me to push him away.

Oh my god, how do I fix this?!

“Just... don’t tell the others, alright?” Burping, he put his hands over his chest, wobbling a little. “I need to digest all this.”

“Sure. Of course!” I mumbled, blinking in confusion.

We stayed quiet as a group of guys passed us.

What the hell is it with me bringing out the gay in unaware men?!

With a deep sigh, Kevin rested his head against the wall behind him, squinting his eyes because of the neon light stripes running across the ceiling. “God. Telling my father’s going to be a nightmare.” He let out a desperate chuckle.

While I was petrified that Kevin was in a similar situation to me, I was glad there was something we could actually bond about. “I-I get that,” I whispered, lowering my eyes. “Wish I could give you some advice in that regard...”

Was Ievergoing to be able to tell Dad? He was always so disappointed in me that perhaps there wasn’t anywhere lower to go, but then again, no matter how much I hated him for it, I knew seeing him despise me for who I was would destroy me.

---