Page 38 of Encounter

“I didn’t even go that hard on you, you know?” I said to fill the silence because he seemed to be sitting there probably lost in his head again. “But if you didn’t like it, feel free to say, and I’ll act like none of this ever happened.”

He took in a deep breath and sighed. “I’ve had a lot of school things to deal with. I’ve been pretty stressed and didn’t really exercise much since the last time, so...”

Staring up at the ceiling, I pressed my lips together and wondered if there was any advice I could give him. I was hardly one to even imagine how his life was, not to mention my experience with school was only the bare minimum. “You really should start runnin’. It’s more relaxing than you might think. Like I said, but... don’t stress so much ‘bout it.”

What am I now, a therapist to some nineteen-year-old kid?

“Yeah.” He snorted, somehow sounding like he was smiling.

I lifted the bottle up to my lips again and took a sip before tilting my head back. “I’m free for the rest of the week. Last time, you seemed too tired to worry or stress about anythin’ once we were done. Give it another shot,” I added softly, wondering if I was coming off as weirdly involved.

“Yo-you’re right. You’re right,” he repeated, his voice turning firmer. “Can you do tomorrow? The same time as before?”

A bit of agency, huh?“Sure. Works for me,” I said. Maybe I was going to be able to drag that boy out of his shell after all. Somehow, it already felt like there was no going back on whatever our bizarre situation was. “I’ll be seeing ya.”

Iwanted to run away. I wanted to turn around and go home, to crawl back into my comfort zone and stay there forever, but Chast already saw me as I stumbled toward his car.

Does everyone feel like this?So exhausted by social interaction, so desperate to stay protected—rigid and tucked away—yet longing for a change that was never going to happen? All I knew was that this was exactly how I felt last time before meeting him, but I ended up coming out of it lighter. All I could do was to push myself and see where it went.

“Hey,” I greeted Chast once I sat down. I still couldn’t shake off my awkwardness around him.

He, on the other hand, looked like he was fine with it all. Relaxed with a cigarette in his mouth and arm resting against the half-open car window, he lifted two fingers and smiled. The way his gaze was always so brazen and unbothered at the same time made me strangely queasy, and I think he knew that.

I couldn’t help but wonder what he was really getting out of it. Wonder if he was planning some horrible prank—or worse—and I was just being as naive and stupid as expected.

“What happened to you?” He snapped, fixating on the spot on my chin. My hand shot up trying to cover it, but he pushed it off, pressing his rough thumb against my skin. Turning completely helpless the moment he touched me, I sat there while he brushed it against my jawline area, removing the reminders of the thin layer of makeup I put on to hide it. “Again?” he mumbled, somewhat annoyed.

Yeah, again. He must think I’m really getting beaten all the time. Unfortunately, Blake had a bad week, so I got pushed around again two days ago.

As a reaction to my silence, his stare deepened. Drawing his thick brows together, he demanded an answer.

“It’s nothing,” I said, and faced away to break from his touch.

For a moment, he stayed quiet, and I couldn’t help but feel ashamed. Like I failed him or something—even though there was no basis for that. “Did you at least hit ‘em back?” he asked, sounding disgruntled, while he threw the finished cigarette out of the window and started the car.

Of course I didn’t. You know I didn’t.

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