Page 102 of Encounter

Rubbing my eyes, I walked to the couch and sat down.I’m exhausted.I decided to take a nap at least. To be safe and to ease my anxiety, I put several alarm clocks on my phone throughout the night, so I could get up and check on him.

Once I put my head down, it was like the weight of the entire world pressed against me in a comforting, weighted blanket sense, and no matter the worries swirling in my head, my eyes quickly succumbed to the tiredness.

He has to be okay...

Unable to stop thinkingabout that piece of paper, I tried to distract myself by making breakfast. It was already eleven o’clock, and even though Chast still slept, I was much calmer about it all. He needed his rest. Checking up on him throughout the night, I eventually settled and nodded off for a few hours. Now that I was awake and he wasn’t, I started feeling uneasy and alien in the apartment I spent so many evenings in.

As I stood in front of the open fridge to figure out what to make, Kitty wrapped around my legs, meowing and giving me needy looks.

I smiled at her. “Chast said you like your food, huh?”

Let me have a look... Does he feed her only dry, or should I give her some more? How much?There were some cat food cans in there, but I worried that doing something wrong might upset her stomach. Chast wouldn’t forgive me if I made Kitty sick.

“Alright, alright!” I blurted out when the sounds escalated, and her tail started swinging from side to side. Grabbing one of the packets from the fridge, I walked with her to her feeding area—using all of my willpower to ignore the desk and contents of it.

Forget about the paper. Forget about it!

Satisfying the beast, I got back to the kitchen, where I decided to make some egg bread with ham and veggies on top. Chast was going to need to eat once he woke up—was going to need his strength, especially after losing that much blood.

As I moved around the kitchen awkwardly, not quite sure where anything was, and learned to work with his old oven, it reminded me of the first day I spent alone at home without my nanny.I must have been around... what? Nine?All those years of being part of our family—or more like filling in for the absence of it—and one day, Dad simply decided Marie wasn’t needed anymore. I was supposed to be able to take care of myself, not to have a nanny helping me like a child. Only I still was one...

He probably felt like if he took all of the support and love and tenderness away, I would be forced to overcome my shy, fragile personality. My trauma. That I would eventually have no choice but to harden—to become the perfectly carved statue he envisioned me to be next to him. Faceless, stern, cold. Fitting right in with all the others, just like he did.

It didn't work how he envisioned it.

Instead of becoming more to his liking, I somehow became more aware of his own harsh, chiseled edges. Of his lack of life-likeness.

Sighing, I steadied my breathing to bring myself back into reality and focus on not burning Chast’s apartment down.I barely managed to eat one piece of bread I made for myself.

Putting the rest into the microwave for Chast, I stood in the middle of the apartment, hands rested on my hips. Leaning back to see through the cracked door into the bedroom, Chast still slept peacefully.

What do I do now?

Don’t think about it. Dammit!

It most likely was nothing more than him forgetting to shred it. Or it was significant to finding me when I got kidnapped. Anything but... whateverbad thingmy anxiety kept whispering into my ears about.

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