Page 63 of Encounter

In the following weeks, I’d developed a new routine. Every Monday and Thursday, as soon as my lectures finished, I headed to Chast’s house. We would go for a walk, to the stadium, or I’d do some basic exercises under his supervision, and then we would watch stupid TV shows and drink soda while I did my assignments.

Some days, we wouldn’t even talk much.

Others, Chast would tell me about all the unbelievable things he did when he was in the military or contracting in the Middle East. In a ridiculous contrast to that, Chast would then listen to me blab on about music history, mind-numbing business management, or sci-fi movies. And it sounded like he was entertained—like he really enjoyed it.

The moment he felt well enough—about four weeks in—we went back to the gym. On a rainy Friday afternoon, we met on the usual spot and drove there. I could almost see Chast jitter out of excitement the closer we got. He must have been going out of his mind in his apartment. I was pleased too, considering how well I’d been doing, but worried about others being in there, now that it was open. It wasn’t something I was used to, andChastseeing me fail was bad enough.

Thankfully, there weren’t many people, and besides the few curious looks, Chast’s dominant presence made everyone avert their eyes for the most part.

My heart still raced as we walked back to the car after. The satisfying rush of endorphins filled my body to the brim, and I was... happy. Even the training went pretty well.

“Excited to go back to work soon?” I asked, smiling softly and trying to not think about what hisworkinvolved.

“Soon,” he murmured. “I need to get checked by the doc in a week or two.” Chast rolled his eyes, clearly ready to throw himself into a gunfight already. The coughing was still there, and sometimes he seemed in pain, but for the most part, he was good.

“Do you want me to come to yours?” I asked as we stopped in front of the car but got no reply. Looking at him, I noticed Chast was somewhere else again—something which seemed to happen quite a lot.I wonder where his mind goes.“Chast?”

Blinking, he quickly looked at me. “What?”

“I just... I asked if you want me to come to yours again?” Pausing with my hand on the door handle, I felt the insecurity and fear tugging in my chest. Suppressing the unexplained panic, I glanced at Chast, wondering if he got tired of me.

Blankly staring at me for a moment, he cleared his throat and unlocked the car. “You should probably spend more time with people your age,” he blurted out.

My body froze,S and even after he got into the car, I stood there. He meant well—at least I hoped he did, judging by his tone of voice. Yet I couldn’t help but feel hurt, like he was trying to toss me away. Like I wasn’t good enough anymore.

“Ma-maybe I should,” I mumbled to try and convince myself his remark was to help me. I got in the car, where Chast waited for me with a pensive gaze. “You’re right. I should.” I nodded sharply. It was only a matter of time when he was going to get sick of me—perhaps he tried to soften the blow with this, out of kindness, or pity.

For a moment, he stared at me, trying to read me. “Youcanstill come to mine if you want.” His eyes softened.

Then why did you say that?

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” I said, shaking my head. Attempting to conjure up a smile, I looked down on my hands. “I’m actually going to... go out with someone, I think. I feel really good. Probably the... endorphins a-and stuff.”

Spending some time with Zola for once, being a good friend—thatis what I should do, right? Now that my life seems to be getting a little better, I need to push myself to get out there. Be normal.

“Yougonna go out?” Chast nearly chuckled, though his apologetic expression told me he didn’t mean for it to sound like he was mocking me. “I mean... Sure. Do the things people your age do! Should find some... gay bar or somethin’, ey? You deserve to have some fun! You want me to take you home then?”

“Please,” I said and turned my face away to look out of the window, while Chast started the car.

He meant well... and this was good for me.

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