Page 51 of Encounter

The more he said, the more I wanted to know about him. The more he drew me into his fascinating, blood-soaked Pandora's box of a life. “Is that... why you’re helping me?” I wondered out loud, narrowing my eyes.

The muscles on his neck tensed. The hand he held the weight with twitched. “No,” he said, drawing his brows together. As his lips disappeared into a straight line hidden in his beard, the hairs on my arms stood up, reacting to the uncomfortable shift in the mood.

I said something wrong. Have I overstepped some sort of a line?

“I ain’t helpin’ you because of some... guilty conscience I have from what I did as a dumb kid. I already paid for that.” Chast’s voice was deeper, more reserved.

I must have struck a chord he didn’t want me to.

Great job, Galen, ugh.

“I’m helpin’ you ‘cuz... you need it. There’s no real reason,” he said, and even though he shrugged, I heard the slight hesitation in his voice.

With my mind already running a hundred miles an hour, I tried to suppress the intrusive thoughts. His mask was slipping—he couldn’t act like he could stand me anymore. He was probably getting sick of playing nice, or—

When Chast looked into my eyes again, all of those thoughts were made redundant. His gaze erased them within seconds. “One day, when you’re ready, you’ll stand up to them, and they’ll see that it won’t bring them anything to torture you anymore. They’ll stop. And you’ll know how it feels.”

Normally, it would have been unthinkable for me to imagine such situation. But when I sat next to Chast, soaking up his protective, heavy energy that weighed me down in the most comforting way, everything seemed possible.

Smiling softly, I nodded. “Thanks... for believing in me. I don’t really get why, but— I don’t think anyone ever believed in me like this.” I chuckled nervously and brushed my hair out of my face, feeling cheesy for saying things like that.

At first, Chast responded with the same, comforting expression, but then his entire face changed.

As if he saw a ghost—as if some terrifying shadow was cast over his mind—he looked down, frowning and taking in a sharp breath. I watched him, my instincts screaming for me to run. Sitting there breathlessly, I waited for him to come back, to come back from whatever place my words took him, so I could apologize, but it was too late. When Chast’s eyes found me again, there was this unexplained anger.

“Chast?” I whispered, trying to be brave even though I knew I should’ve stayed quiet. “Di-did I say something—”

“Shut up, Galen,” he breathed the words out, voice trembling ever so slightly. As soon as he said it, my heart skipped a beat, veins already running with prickly ice. Confused, I tried to figure out what it could’ve been that I said but before I got the chance, Chast’s worrying expression intensified. “This... This is enough for today. You should go home,” he said quickly, his eyes wandering around the room as if he tried to deflect some of that strong emotion away from me.

Without thinking, I dropped the handles and stood up from the machine. My body, now focused on survival, played the scenes of what he did in the background of my every thought—even though I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. I trusted him. Still...

Stupid as I was, I opened my mouth, wanting to apologize, to fix it, but as soon as he saw me, he snapped, “Go!”

Without a second thought, I rushed into the changing room, legs already trembling like I was a scared little kid.

I didn’t even change out of my gym clothes, grabbed my bag, and went out. Only after a few minutes of walking through the unfamiliar, dirty streets with the night falling around me did I stop to catch my breath. Holding my trembling hand over my face, I looked around, feeling the panic bubble on the bottom of my stomach.

I walked further until I reached a convenience store that didn’t look like I was going to get mugged there. Resting against the wall and shivering as the cold, evening breeze brushed over my arms, I stared into the ground, playing out the entire situation in my head.

Was I too friendly? Too sentimental?

The more I thought about it, the tighter my chest got. Almost as if I was on the verge of a panic attack, I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, frantically trying to get a grip on my emotions.

I had to get home.

After I managed to get a taxi, I spent the entirety of the ride trying to hold myself together in front of the suspicious, nosy-looking driver while I clenched my phone, waiting for a message from Chast that wouldn’t come.

Dad wasn’t even home yet, so I went into my room and locked myself in. Throwing the bag on the ground, my body shivered with waves of stress instead of cold. I sat on my bed, holding the phone in front of me.

Are you this upset about this?Frowning, I darted my eyes across the room.Are you scared your evening rendezvous with a hitman will end? How stupid are you?

How could I even think something like that was for me? That it could last?

Galen from a few weeks ago would’ve thrown his phone under the pillow and went to the bathroom. He would’ve pitied himself to sleep. Perhaps it was the reminders of the endorphins from exercising but... I couldn’t let it go. Maybe it was only the side of me terrified of separation, of loneliness, even though it was all there was for me.

I hesitated a moment, but eventually wrote out the message and sent it before I could change my mind.

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