Page 48 of Encounter

“Fuckin’ hell, look at your face. This was supposed to make you feel better!”Come on. Just laugh it off with me. Don’t feel weird.

“Wh-why did you do that?” he asked, frowning until the skin between his brows made deep creases. He squeezed the tissue in his hands and kneaded it like dough.

“I literally just said th—”

“You said last time that you’re not gay,” he said, more frustrated this time. He didn’t sound angry, at least. Flustered, maybe. Confused. But it was already done—this was not the time to be like that.

“Do I have to be gay to do somethin’ like this? Jeez.” Puffing, I straightened my back, leaning against the rope of the boxing ring behind him. My boner was already gone, thankfully.

“That’s usually how it works,” Galen quipped, voice low.

Seeing him sit there squirming, I groaned and let out a sigh. “You looked like you really needed to get some pent-up shit out is all. Feel better, don’t you? There’s no reason to make this weird—just a physical need, nothin’ more.” I didn’t want to talk or think about it, so I walked to the machines. “Let’s try this. I won’t stress you out with stupid boxing anymore.”

He wouldn’t meet my gaze again, but he hesitantly followed to the lat pull-down machine. I changed the weight on it while Galen quietly stood behind me, and quickly began to realize what he must have been thinking.I just made everything ten times more confusing for him, haven’t I?

“Sit down,” I said, and he did right away. “You can manage this, can’t you?”

“Yeah...” His arms weren’t really accustomed to lifting much, but he was already gaining some strength, I could see that. He was going to figure it out.

I gave him a thumbs-up—as if there was anything to mess up about pulling a stick down—and sat on the bench of the machine next to it, crossing my ankles and making myself comfortable. “Exhale with the pull, inhale when you let go,” I noted once Galen did his first pulls.

The metal clanked, and his controlled breaths sounded through the otherwise quiet gym.

I’ve never had to explain this. Never really had to talk about it out loud with another guy.Smirking over my own stupidity, and how nervous it made me feel, I brushed over my beard.

“After I... was done with the Seals, I did contractor work. Private tours, paid protection, some not-so-legal shit. Usually, there was a team of us. We would sometimes work together on the more shady, risky gigs. Eight men together with no one else in sight, twenty-four seven, day after day, sometimes for weeks or months on end...”

For the first time, I started to feel anxious in front of him, so I faced away, staring into space while I played with the plastic cover on the machine. I couldn’t tell what it was that rattled me about it—the strange sentimental feeling as I remembered those times, or telling some kid I didn’t even know that well about it?

Either way, I felt... naked.

“That sorta situation pushes you to find pleasure in ways you normally wouldn’t. Especially without any army rules ‘n’ regulations.”It’s been a while since I remembered all this.“Like I said already—I ain’t into guys; I just like sex. Well, and when youreallyneed it, you don’t care what hole you stick your cock into. Not to mention that once our contract was up, we’d all walk in opposite directions. The sorts of things we did... Not exactly somethin’ you sit down rememberin’ over a cup of coffee down the line.”

“I see...” Galen’s reaction was brisker than I expected. “So, you never... cared about any of them?” he asked in a more timid tone.

I cocked one of my brows.Did I?

“N— In my own way, maybe, but that don’t matter. Have I made you uncomfortable?” I finally met his eyes, as serious and firm as I could make myself be in that moment. “I thought you could use that sort of thing.”

“I’m— I’m not uncomfortable,” Galen said clearly, shaking his head.Good. That’s good.“I mean... You shouldn’t need to dothatjust so I don’t suck ass at the most basic boxing practice,” he said, hanging his head down. There it was again—the self-doubt, wrapping around his whole body like some invisible beast. I could almost see it.

“Ha, well.” I exhaled, somehow more at ease now that I told him everything. “As I said, it was stupid of me to expect you’d work the same way I do. You probably need somethin’ more natural. Lifting, or more instinctual forms of martial arts—once you get some stamina and muscle on ya.” I paused, darting my eyes over him. All this work and care I felt compelled to put into helping him... why was it there? I still didn’t understand, and it made me nervous. A man who doesn’t understand himself is like a loose cannon.

Not to mention I never even told Lydy these things.

Galen already caught on by the time I realized I stared at him too long. The moment I blinked, he faced away and focused on pulling the weight. I was just being paranoid. This whole thing... this thing that pulled me toward him and made me feel like he could read my mind—it was nothing but my weird infatuation with the date. The date that meant nothing.

Time to move on, Chast. Stop thinking about this.

“Well,” I exhaled, “you should really get into running. Think that would work. Gives you a good high.”

Galen smiled, and when he spoke, his voice was soft, velvety. “I do need that. All the serotonin I can get,” he joked.

“Should do it after your piano. You’ll already be feelin’ relaxed. It’ll make it easier to push yourself to go out and do it. You can listen to whatever music you like, too.” He probably liked classical music. It fit him well. It was unusual for someone his age, but that kind of made it special, didn’t it? Madehimspecial.

There was this... unhindered, pure satisfaction on his face, as if he forgot to filter his thoughts through that insecure little brain of his for once.I guess I did make him feel better. I’m glad...

“I don’t know how much work I’ll have this coming week.” I changed the topic and stood, glancing around to see what machine I wanted to use. “But I’ve been workin’ like a dog lately. Reckon I deserve some free time to relax for a bit. We’ll figure somethin’ out.”

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