Page 137 of When You Had Me Adapting

“Did you know I googled you? That’s how I knew you found the Bix.”

“You mentioned it.”

“It was weird. Seeing so many articles and links pop up. I saw this one and almost clicked on it, but I didn’t.” She pauses. “I was so mad at you then and somehow knew reading it would makeme forgive you for what I thought you had done. Would bring back all the memories of when we were kids and I couldn’t put myself through it.”

“I wanted you to read it because I wanted you to know you’ve always been it for me and at the risk of sounding like an absolute lunatic, everything I’ve done in the past decade was because of you. It was all for you, pixie. When I walked into Poppy’s graduation party, I was not expecting to find you. But it felt like fate. Like every wish I made had finally come true.”

She wipes the tears from her cheeks. “You’re turning me into a huge softy.” She laughs. “Wait, where are we?” She looks out the window at the two-story home we are parked in front of. The exterior is covered with white siding and a red brick skirt surrounds the base of the home. The shutters and doors are painted dark green. An exposed fireplace that matches the brick skirt climbs up one of the sides of the house. The minute I saw it, I knew it had to be mine.Ours.

“Come with me.” I exit the Jeep and round the front. She opens her door and I help her down.

I lead her down the driveway and up the steps to the front door of the house. I grab the brass handle.

“Jace, what are you doing?” She grabs for my hand. “Aren’t you going to knock?”

I flash her a wide grin and push the door open, revealing an empty house. Her eyes go wide. The entryway is framed by two large rooms. Polished hardwoods cover the floor in every direction. A staircase with a wooden banister leads to the second story. A beautiful iron and crystal chandelier hangs from the vaulted ceiling. Fresh creamy, white paint covers every wall.

“No one is living here?” she asks, looking over her shoulder to where I stand. “Wait, what are we doing here?” With my hand on her lower back, I gently guide her over the threshold.

“It’s for sale,” I say, casually. “I was thinking I might buy it.” She flips around to face me.

“Buy it?” Her throat bobs up and down. “What do you mean buy it?”

I stifle a laugh and grab her hand. We make our way down the hall and into the kitchen. A small gasp breaks past her lips. Natural wood cabinets are topped with white leathered granite. In the center is an island that could easily accommodate four people. A large window sits over the kitchen sink letting in natural light and giving the perfect view of the wooded backyard.

“What do you mean buy it?” she asks again, her hand running over the rough granite.

“This summer has been phenomenal,” I begin, trying to find the right words. She spins around to face me.

“It has, but why are we here? What’s going on?”

“A week and a half ago I reached out to Donovan and he got me in contact with Jaime, another realtor at his office. This house will go on the market tomorrow and I’m thinking about buying it. She pulled some strings, as a favor to Donovan, and was able to get us in today.”

“We get to tour it unsupervised?” she asks.

“For the next hour, it’s ours. Perks of having a friend that’s a realtor,” I laugh.

“And why am I here?” Lacey’s eyes move around the kitchen taking it in. Her hip is propped against the island and her arms are crossed. I walk over to where she stands. Picking her up, I set her on top of the island. I move my body between her legs and push a piece of her hair behind her ear.

“When I came back in May I was considering staying because of my dad and then I walked into that party and saw you. I know things weren’t easy at first, but I knew I wanted you from the moment I saw you.” She smiles. “This morning you asked me to think about Australia and I love you for that. I love that you wantme to follow my dreams, but you, pixie, are my dreams. You are what I wish for on every star. I want to build a life here with you. I know we’ve only been doing this for a couple of weeks and that might sound incredibly crazy, but I’m crazy about you and I have been my entire life.”

I place a soft kiss on her forehead and tears begin to well in her eyes.

“Jace, I?—”

“You’re here because I want your opinion. For ten years, I had to live without you and I don’t want to live without you anymore. I want it to be your house too.”

Our eyes hold each other and we’re both quiet for a moment. “What’s going on in that mind of yours, pixie?”

She takes a deep breath. “In the occupational therapy world, we often have to find ways for our patients to modify their environments so they can become accustomed to their new normal. Some need new equipment to eat, some might need it to shower, and others need it to move. We find ways to make life easier for them, but it’s never the same. No matter how hard we try to wipe away the difficulty or the disability, it never completely goes away. Life is always a little bit harder for them.”

I nod and give her a look that encourages her to continue.

“I think, in a way, that’s what I’ve been doing for the last ten years. I tried so hard to erase you because the pain was so big and some days it was so debilitating I didn’t think I’d survive it. So, day by day, I adapted to a life without you, but no matter how hard I tried my feelings for you never went away.”

Tears run down her cheeks and I wipe them away with the pads of my thumbs.

“I want this too, J. The house. You. Whatever comes next. I want it so badly. I wantyouso badly.”

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