Page 75 of When You Had Me Adapting

She moves to lay on her back and looks up toward the night sky. I join her. The pop of a firework sounds in the distance and Tanner’s loud laugh comes from somewhere below us.

“How many nights do you think we spent out on the roof looking up at the stars?” she asks.

“No idea, but those were some of my favorites. It’s like it was our own little world away from all the noise.”

“It was, wasn’t it?”

“You know when I was on a project and I needed some space to think, I would find a place away from the team and look up at the night sky. It always helped me quiet my head.”

“What are the stars like in other parts of the world?” she asks.

“Magnificent. Especially in the really remote places with no light pollution. There seems to be millions that cover the sky. You would love it.”

“I can only imagine.” Her voice is wistful. She turns her head to look at me and I meet her gaze and she sits up suddenly. She pulls her legs back up to her chest. Her hands move up and down her crossed arms.

“Do you remember how scared Poppy was when we first started meeting outside my bedroom? I think the first three times she yelled at us from my bed to come back inside,” Lacey laughs. There were so many nights over the last ten years I wished I could hear her laugh. So many nights I wished she had been laying next to me looking up at the stars, but she wasn’t.

“Can I tell you a secret?” I ask, sitting up to look at her.

“Please do.”

“I was as scared as she was, but I didn’t want you to know.” I wince and she laughs again, slapping my leg.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me? We could’ve stayed inside.”

“Because I’d follow you anywhere you asked me to go.” Our conversation stills and she moves a little closer and rests her head on my shoulder. Our hands are so close that there is only a whisper between them. My heart rate quickens and for a split second I have the urge to kiss her forehead, but I stop myself.

“Jace?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you ever think we would get the chance to be friends again?”

Friends.The word hits me like a punch to the gut.

“Honestly, no. When I walked into that graduation party, you were the last person I thought I would see there. You?”

“No. I mean I thought about it over the years, but it was more like what I would say to you when I finally had the chance. There were a couple times before your dad moved.” She lets out a sigh.“One time, I saw your Jeep parked in his driveway and I almost worked up the courage to knock on the door, but I didn’t do it.”

“Why not? I never knew you to be afraid of anything.”

“With you it’s always been different. It sounds so silly now, but I did everything in my power to avoid you. Too many feelings, I guess.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know how to explain it.” She takes a deep breath. “My biggest fear was losing you and I guess when it came true, I didn’t know what to do or how to handle it. It was like I broke. I stopped fighting because I could no longer function. The feelings were too much for me, so I blocked you and pretended like you never existed because that was easier than accepting the fact that you broke my heart.”

“I get it. I threw myself into school and work, so I didn’t have to deal with losing you either.”

Our fingers barely touch and it sends a shock up my arm. She quickly moves her hand and sits up, so we are no longer touching. I wonder if it’s because she felt it too.

“So, what else have you been up to in the past decade? Any girlfriends?”

Her question throws me, but I try to remind myself that this is our second chance at friendship and nothing more.

“Oh. No. My last serious relationship was with a girl named Amber. We were together when Mom died and I think we stayed together longer than we should have because of it.”

“The brunette I saw in the bathroom that day.”

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