Page 71 of When You Had Me Adapting

“Huh?” he asks, his body rocking back and forth like he’s still out on the water. Time seems to slow and I don’t understand what he’s not understanding.

“I said, turn the fucking song off. Or turn it. Do something. Just stop playing it, please.”

Tanner’s eyes meet mine with confusion and he pulls out his phone tapping the screen. The song stops and when I look around the room Chris is staring at me with his mouth a gape.

“You good, Lace?” Wren asks, her eyes full of concern.

“I’m fine. Are you okay, J?” He walks out of the room without a sound and I follow him. I hear Chris call my name, but I ignore him.

CHAPTER 33: REMEMBER WHEN

LACEY - 5 YEARS AGO

I’m standing in my childhood bedroom and I’m wearing a black jumpsuit. Black. The color that makes up most of my wardrobe, however today I hate it.

My eyes have been red and puffy since my dad called me three days ago to tell me Annie Jackson passed away. The emotional roller coaster of the past few days hit me when I least expected it.

I spoke to Annie last week, and she was so positive. She assured me everything was going to be okay, and then without a bit of warning, she was gone. Tears start to well up in my eyes at the thought of the last words she said to me: “I love you, honey.” I take a few deep breaths and stop the tears from running down my face. She would not want me crying over her. She told me as much during our weekly calls.

I finish applying my waterproof mascara and try to think about a happy memory with Annie. A lot of the memories are intertwined with memories of Jace. I hate him for tarnishing some of the happiest days of my life. Annie was everything my mom isn’t. She was a ball of sunshine and positivity. Everyoneshe interacted with could feel the warmth and love that radiated off of her.

My bedroom door clicks open and Poppy walks in wearing a black dress and heels. Her hair is curled and pulled back out of her face. She crosses the space between us and wraps me in a hug. We both begin to sob.

“Today is going to be a hard day, but we’re going to face it together. You’re sure about going?” She pulls back and wipes under her eyes with her fingers.

I nod. “I think so. I mean I know he’ll be there, but she would have wanted me to come. You too. We will keep our distance and sit in the back like we said. No need to stir up drama. Annie wouldn’t have wanted that.”

“You really think she never told him about y’all’s weekly chats?”

“Not that I know of. She said she would tell him when the time was right and I never really knew what she meant. Always called them our little secret because she knew how lonely I was. You know Lori is always too busy to bother to talk to me beyond what’s scheduled on the Sims’ family calendar.”

“She loved you so much, Lace.” Poppy squeezes my hand and tears threaten to fall again. I turn and grab a tissue.

“She never pushed me about him either, just respected that something happened between him and me. One time I asked her why and she said with all the confidence in the world that she knew one day we would figure it all out and then we never brought him up again.” I take a deep breath. “Fuck, life isn’t fair. She was one of the best people I knew. Why her?”

A tap on my door makes us turn around. My mom is standing in the doorway expressionless. Her makeup is perfectly done, not one strand of her blonde hair out of place. Not even Annie Jackson dying could make this woman crumble. “Goodness,Lacey, pull yourself together. No need to make today more dramatic than it needs to be.”

I take another deep breath and plaster a fake half smile across my face.

“Will you girls be riding with us?” she asks.

“No ma’am. We don’t want to make the day harder on Jace, so we’re gonna go separate and sit in the back.”

“Suit yourselves.” She turns to leave and yells, “Colton, we’re leaving in five. Please put your shoes on and wear the sports coat I bought you.” Colton grumbles something from down the hall.

“Is she fucking serious?” Poppy asks.

“You know Lori. She thinks showing any emotion is too much, so she shows none at all and expects the rest of us to follow suit.”

“It’s baffling. Annie was one of her best friends. I can’t imagine being that stoic if I ever lost you. They’d probably have to commit me,” Poppy says.

“Yeah.” I shrug and sigh. “I don’t think she’s cried once. Just pretends like nothing bad happened and goes into robot mode. She caught me crying last night, and instead of comforting me, she rolled her eyes and reminded me to steam my jumpsuit. And then, when I didn’t do it immediately, she proceeded to do it for me. How are your parents?”

“They’re both a mess. Mom keeps making casseroles for Richard and can’t stop crying. Dad’s been over at their house all week, watching TV and spending time with them.”

“This sucks,” I say. Tears stream down my face and my body begins to shake. A wave of grief washes over me.

Poppy grabs my hand and squeezes it hard. “I know, but we’re going to get through it together. Like we always do.” I wipe the tears from my face and grab my purse off my bed. We head towards the door.

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